I'm Back!

Hi, folks! I guess I should explain.

Well, I didn't quit running, but I did quit blogging. Nothing major happened; all is good is my little world, but LIFE did happen. I merely started feeling overwhelmed with all the responsibilities of motherhood, running, teaching, and coaching. I chose to "simplify" things for a few months, and one of those things was to quit blogging. I had decided that the blog would be gone for good until… my bestie, Sam, started a blog called Mobile Bay Runner. I then started missing blogging a bit, and then she pestered me to start it up again. BUT… "I've really got nothing to blog about!" I said. Well, yes, but often the act of blogging is like journaling; it's more for the author than the reader.

So, what have I been up to? I ran the Boston Marathon in 3:21:xx. I was neither thrilled, nor displeased with that; as I was aiming for 3:15. I'm sure you've read, but the weather was crap. And I had a Scary Fall a few days before. I'll spare the details, but picture me flying face first onto the track during the County Championships. (Remember, I'm *that*girl?) I hurt my knee. In all honesty, it was already sore from a 23 miler with 3 at Marathon Pace that I did a few weeks before, but the fall just put the thing over the edge with swelling and whole nine yards. Boston went on, though. We had a nice trip; it's a lot  traveling with a baby, and honestly, I was a little disappointed. Because the weather was so bad, Keith kept the baby at the hotel; so I finished and no one was there. I just finished the Boston Marathon, got on the "T" and rode back to the hotel. Keith, Savannah, and I went out to eat to a really nice restaurant to celebrate, though; so that was nice.

Running Currently…
After Boston, I made a pretty big decision and decided to work coach-free for now. After a lot of soul searching and praying, I came to the realization that I don't really want, need, or desire to train at a competitive level. Coach and I made the mutual decision to not work together anymore. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with him as a coach. I still think the world of the guy; he's an amazing coach and person. It just isn't what I need right now. So, I'm running some decent mileage and thinking of a fall marathon, but nothing set in stone, and workouts/mileage is all over the place on a day-to-day basis.

The motherhood/runner balance is harder than I thought. However, I love her more than I ever imagined. We have so much fun together. I wouldn't change a single thing. The running has taken a hit, though. There's a slight sting knowing I'm not as fast as I used to be (and may never be), but the love for my Squishy overpowers those thoughts.

Being this is my first blog since Feb. I'm feeling a bit rusty. What would YOU like to read or know about me? I'm ready to get this blog going full-force again, but not really sure what direction to "run' in. (Haha, see what I did there?)

Sea Turtle Half

My virtual friend, Elizabeth, always posts the best race reports. She organizes her thoughts very well, and views the race with great perspective. No shame here, but I am going to attempt to model that thinking.

Pre race: 

I really wanted to have a great half marathon. I planned to use my time as a goal-setter for Boston. However, as race day neared, weather was looking VERY windy. Anyone that live coastal knows how bad that darn "beach breeze" can be, especially if you are running beachside with few or no tall condos to block the wind. Prior to seeing the forecast, I targeted 6:55-7:05 as my goal pace. I based this off my training and the 5K I recently ran. 

After seeing the forecast, coach and I discussed running for place and as a tempo-type effort, possibly marathon pace. After looking back at my training data and talking with some very fast marathoning friends, I chose 7:15 as my new race goal pace. Disappointing, yes, but with 20-25 mph crosswinds, I didn't want to go out too fast and suck an egg. The new goal was a smooth and even race where I worked hard and placed in top 3 (hopefully).

Race:

Forecasters were correct- winds WERE 20-25 mph. And holy cow. From the gun it was like I was being beat with a  wet mop. Kind of funny, but in one of my race pics, my top has been blown completely over my boob, and my bra is completely hanging out. THAT is windy… you know, when your clothes get blown off. It was even trying to blow off my visor! I kept having to pull it down very close to my eyes. 

I found a guy I somewhat knew who was also aiming for 1:35. He and ran the first half together. There really isn't much to tell. I hit all my splits from 7:12-16, nothing special. The wind made me miserable for 13.1 miles. So that's pretty much that. At the turn around, my average pace was 7:14. I was hoping to pick it up once I got back to the portion of the beach where the wind might have been blocked by condos. And I did grind out a few 7:09 miles from 8-10. AND THEN I ALMOST GOT RUN OVER. See, the road was not closed to traffic, but we did have the bike lane to run in. One section (a bridge) was under construction, and the bike lane was closed. Cones were also blocking part of the east driving lane (the lane we were running in). I had fallen behind the guy I was running with, but I saw him turn back and yell something at me. And then a car came barreling over the bridge, forcing me to jump in the construction dirt, behind a cone. Then I had to wait for it to pass, along with another vehicle! Hello, 7:50 mile. GGRRRRR. 

I was sort of in No Man's Land for the 2nd half. After the turn around, I didn't have anyone to work with. I could see first place FAR ahead, estimating about 5 minutes. (She beat me by 3 minutes, actually). I never was close to her, and 3rd was never close to me. 

I ended up with 1:35:12, 2nd female overall, 1st in AG. 

The Good:

I ran extremely even splits. That means I chose my goal appropriately. I worked very hard, but sensible in that wind. I kept my head in it, even when I was going to get 2nd no matter what, and I was disappointed about not being able to run my A goal. I also stayed it mentally when I was running alone. 

The Bad:

I'm still nowhere near what I used to be. I'm still carrying baby fat. My attitude could use a pick-me-up. I still have no idea what I should aim for at Boston. And I have no desire to do another race. 

And that's a wrap, friends! I'll just continue to plug along...

Dear Passion, Where are YOU?

I'm sleep deprived; so please excuse any over-emotional ramblings. This post will likely be a cross between vent and search for advice. I don't have many commenters lately, but I'd love some feedback on this one.

I'm struggling.

I think I hate teaching.

This is my 14th year as an elementary teacher, and 4th year teaching inclusion. For those of you that aren't familiar, inclusion is the mixing of students with special needs in the general education classroom.   Towards the end of last year, I had a lot of feelings of restlessness. I even toyed with applying for a reading coach position (which I have experience in), but decided with the baby, that would be too much change. Besides, being on an 10 week maternity leave doesn't exactly scream "hire me."

I knew going back to work would be rough, but I guess I underestimated it. All day, every day, all I can think about is getting out of there. Y'all, I feel like I'm in prison. I'm so ashamed to say that. I have truly loved teaching for 13 years. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I've been passionate about my job. I've loved those kids with everything I had and taught to my absolute best ability.  But not this year. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I feel preoccupied. I feel like I'm not doing anything really except running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

And part of it is the special ed situation. I'm probably going straight to hell for saying this, but y'all, I just can't and don't want to deal with it anymore. The teacher that is supposed to come work with me is terrible. She either doesn't show up or sits on her butt. So basically I have no support. And truth time, so much attention is taken away from the "average" child. I feel like I'm just failing in all areas. I'm stretched too thin. The regular classroom is NOT the best place for all children, and while I'm on my way to the fiery place, WHY DO THEIR NEEDS COME FIRST? Doesn't Average Johnny at the back table deserve just as much of my attention as the special needs child? Does he deserve to be challenged and nurtured by his teacher just like all the other kids? I hate to tell everyone this, but with ONE teacher and another WARM ADULT BODY all the kids' needs are not being met.

And every night I take this information home with me. The information that i have failed. Yet again. And that is how I've developed hate for my job. So every day I spend wishing for 3, so I can hurry off to coaching and then go home to my baby. Every night I spend remembered all the ways I failed, dreading for the morning to come and praying for the weekend to hurry.

And running. Frankly, I'm not too fired up about running these days, either. It's dull. The workouts. The treadmill. The dark track. Nothing really excites me. I really just run for Boston, and not wanting to embarrass myself there, wanting to run a decent time, trying to show the world that there IS running life after baby.

But really, who cares? I used to be so obsessed with the mileage, the grind, the training. And now, I can barely tell you what I ran yesterday. Most days I follow my coach's plan. Some days I do more, some days I do less. Sometimes I scramble the schedule to fit my needs. But yeah, same workouts, different variation. Week after blasted week. I've got a goal half marathon this weekend, and I really couldn't give two craps about it except that a lot of girls I know will be running and I really don't want to look like a complete bum.

Track practice kicked off this week, and it was a tumultuous start. The new other head coach couldn't come… all week. It was me and the ENTIRE TEAM all week. The chaos of it all nearly made me lose my mind. However, I do think it set the stage for who might be The Boss from here on out. LOL. And I will say that track is one of the few things I get excited about every day, but I'm still not as obsessed as I have been in previous years.

Stay at Home Moms, I hate you. I want to be you. I feel like I am missing so much of Savannah's life by working. I just miss her so much each day. It's all I can think about.

And that is what motherhood is- a love beyond measure that trumps all other feelings.

Advice from other working moms is truly welcomed. Advice from other teachers is truly welcomed.

The Grind and 5K Race Report

I'm 20 weeks postpartum, and Squishy will soon be 5 months! In some ways, it's hard to remember being pregnant. It's true when people say that the pain(s) of pregnancy and labor are soon forgotten. And what reminders are left are strongly hidden by love for my baby. (Like reminders of occasional lingering pelvic pain and my still-remaining "mom pooch"/skin flab. Oh yes, and don't forget my saggy nursing boobs and stretch marks, LOL.) Other than those things, though, I feel… tired.


Let me preface this entire upcoming race report by saying that I KNOW I am not where I need to be or where I want to be, but it is nice to have small leaps in progress along the road "back" to let me know that I'm doing the right things. What are those "right" things, you may be wondering? Well… work. Good old fashioned work.

I have been running 7 days a week, totaling low to mid 60s. I have consistently been doing two workouts- one interval workout and one tempo. I'm doing mostly longer intervals- between 1k and 2k repeats. The tempos are usually 2 x 3 or 3 x 2 or 5 mile steady state. My long runs are now up to 18 miles, and I usually do a middle distance run during the week of 10-12 miles. Most runs are on the treadmill in our guest room, sweating my brains out. (The fan in the bedroom is dangerously close to my head when I run (tall people's problems). The treadmill has a fan, but when I turn it up to high, I can't hear the baby monitor. Squishy is a good running buddy when she's awake. She will usually let me get in at least 6 miles while watching from her bear seat. After that, it becomes iffy, and I often have to wake up daddy.

Pirate Dash 5K
I set out with a C goal of 20:30, B goal of 20:15, and A goal of Sub 20. I knew the course would be tricky- downhill start with a VERY hilly back half. Keep in mind, I haven't raced a 5K since Oct. 2013. I tried to use recent workouts to guide me. Coach and I decided that I needed to run a somewhat aggressive first mile. Neither of us knew how bad the hills on the back half would get me, but the only way I could possibly run Sub 20 was to go out a bit fast.

It's never a good sign when at the start the announcer says, "All kids from the running club move to the front line." YIKES! I was likely to trample a little person! The race benefitted one of the local schools; so I guess they wanted to recognize their student runners. Needless to say, the start was a complete cluster. I tried to stay calm and dodge and weave. Pretty soon, all the littles had fallen off, and I fell into place behind a teenage boy and a man about my age.

I decided to go slightly below Sub 20 pace to start, conserving slightly, but getting a cushion for the hills. Mile 1 6:20.

The other man fell off, and I was running next to the teenage boy. I didn't recognize him, but he must run for one of the local high schools b/c at one point he looked over at me and said, "Hi, Coach." I knew there were two huge hills coming up, but I thought they would be at 1.5-2. Nope, I cruised through Mile 2 6:20.

As you know, I rarely wear a Garmin, but I did for this race. I felt the extra knowledge would help me meet my goals. I had set the screen to show my total time, mile average, and total average. Um, but my screen wasn't showing the distance. The hills began immediately in the 3rd mile. The Garmin average was reading 7:30. I didn't really freak out b/c honestly, I was in such oxygen debt that all I could do was repeat to myself, "Pain locker, pain locker." LOL, this is something I tell my kids during track. Get in the Pain Locker and start there; don't be afraid of it. Sometimes to do well, you have to hurt. I forced myself to look at the top of the hill; then I forced myself to look at the top of the next hill, and then the third and final hill. Garmin average still 7:30. UGH!

Once we finally finished the hills, the high school boy had moved well past me, and another man had passed me. (Other guy fell back at Mile 2.) We started running into walkers going the opposite way, and the top two guys passed the leading cop car. Then I somehow was directly behind the cop car. I could nearly touch its bumper! I moved off to the side and was running directly towards the masses of walkers. I had no idea how close I was to the finish. I knew what road the finish was on, but not the exact placement. All I knew is that I had been running for 17 minutes and I needed to GO.

It was like I was a madman. LOL. I wasn't even saying excuse me, just dodging and weaving, panting and gasping for three. long. minutes. I seriously couldn't feel my legs. The finish line was on a sharp turn, and I could see Keith with the stroller before I could see the finish. He was screaming something about Sub 20. I was out of control, just flailing body parts speeding towards the line.

Wow, it had been so long since I raced like this. Risky. Gutsy. Leaving it all out there. Me vs. the clock.

First female 19:57

For the first time in a long time, I felt proud of my running. I know Sub 20 is nothing special; I've done it dozens of times before. It was the proof, however, of how hard I've worked the past 4 months. Proof that motherhood will not be the end of my running. A catalyst to continue to train hard, keeping the grind and all its unglamorousness.

And that's all for now.

Run Happy, friends!

2015 Goals, The Year of the New Mamma

Hello, 2015! It's been a few years since I wrote down actual GOALS.

Kind of weird about this year. I feel like a different person. I spent some time this morning reading old blog posts. Wow, who WAS that girl? It's so true that motherhood changes everything. Absolutely everything. I read a post from about a year ago about being a teacher first and a runner second. And now, I'm a MOM first. Life is crazy, isn't it?

Running Goals
* The Return to Racing
I have two goal races in the upcoming future. The first is the Sea Turtle Half Marathon in Feb. And the next is BOSTON. And yes, I will have time goals for both of those races. It won't be the "see where I am" business that I've been doing the past 2 races. I'll wait until a little bit closer to race day(s) to share those time goals, considering each week I get stronger and stronger. After Boston, I'm not quite sure what the future will hold. I do use the period of after Boston until school is track is over as a recovery period. That will give me some time to decide on some fall goals, as summer is always a great time for me to train.

*Core, Hip, Pelvic Strength
After having a baby your core is pretty much shot. When I was first cleared for exercise, I was very diligent about these exercises, but now that i am back working and running I need to be more deliberate about fitting in these workouts. My lower back still flares up occasionally, and the chiro attributes it to my hips being out of line, thanks to pregnancy/childbirth.

*Stroller Runs
Squishy and I are now up to 6 miles in the stroller. I think she would go longer, but honestly stroller running is HARD WORK. I want to continue building this mileage. She really loves it so far.

*Treadmill Runs
I am LOVING my treadmill. It makes it super easy to run while Squishy is napping or often she will sit in her bear seat and watch me run. It is way better on hubby; so he doesn't have to wake up at crazy hour for baby duty. Squishy is doing better with sleeping during the night, but often wakes up early, like at 5:00 and is ready to go for the day. One challenge with the treadmill is that I am always tempted to cut the mileage short. It's easy to bore quickly. It helps me to do the pre-programmed Boston course videos; that way I actually have to "quit" the route to end the run early. But for workouts, it's all too easy to cut a mile from the warm up, etc.

Coaching Goals
*Coaching Relationships
So. Looks like I am back coaching track. Coach C was fired for good right around the time Savannah was born, and I was offered back the job at the end of XC… with a RAISE. They have hired a new coach to team with me. He is also a JV basketball coach and PE teacher. I haven't met him, but have exchanged emails. He seems eager and easy to work with. The situation couldn't be any worse than with Coach C, but I'm hoping to have a positive and professional coaching relationship with this man.

*Being Assertive
This year I took a backseat in the XC scene, and was very blessed to remain my position but also spend time with my baby. For some reason, the turnover in coaching XC and track right now is REALLY high in our county. Very few schools have returning coaches. We don't have consistency with meets or schedules, and it's hard to communicate with all the coaches b/c the contact person is constantly changing. Therefore… I want to become more of a leader among the coaches in the county. This will be my 4th year as a head XC coach, at the same school, in the same county. Sadly, only one coach has been in the county coaching XC longer than me. He and I plan to do the County-wide XC camp again, and this year… wait for it… I'm going to put in to host the COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIPS. See, for years, it has been held in our "territory", but another school has been the host. This means, they organize and plan, but also get all the entry fees and spectator fees. At our meeting this spring, I'm going to say that if everyone wants to use that course, WE will be hosting the meet. BOOM! Why should another school get to use our territory to host a meet on? Anyway, I guess I will either host the county meet or they will move it. We shall see. True, I've never hosted a XC meet before, and true that the county meet is a BIG one, but… go big or go home, right? LOL. No more being the meek and mild "girl coach" in the county XC scene. Mother Runner/Coach is taking the bull by the horns!

*Recruiting
We need runners. Period. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, but I'm going to find us some runners!

*Mental Toughness
I really hate to say this in such a negative way, but there is no way to sugar coat it. My XC guys are mentally weak. Seriously, they whine and cry more than any athletes I've ever worked with. Kenny and I tried talking to them last year, sharing experiences, building confidence, but I'm not sure how effective it was. I think this year, it will be time for tough love. My younger guys will now be juniors. I've been with them two years; so surely they know I care about them, but something has to give. The #1 reason we can't excel (the guys team) is because they are mentally weak. They are mentally weak in workouts and mentally weak in races. They will "quit" or get defeated the moment the going gets tough. And my girls will run circles around them and call them cry babies behind their backs. LOL.

*WINGS
I have resigned as WINGS coach (youth summer running club) for this upcoming summer. I'm about to come off like a major ass, but my decision is based on money. Two years in a row, they delayed paying me by THREE MONTHS. And once I calculate the pay, considering all the travel and work, it's just not worth it, especially with a sweet baby at home. Also, I coached it alone this past year, and it was really challenging. I felt like it stressed me out more than I enjoyed it. This will also give me the entire summer to spend with my baby girl and focus on XC.

Personal Goals
*Focus on Family
When you have a baby, it's so easy to focus on just her. For months now, my mind has been occupied and consumer with HER. It's been easy to neglect mine and hubby's relationship. I want to work to spend time together as a family and build our relationship as a threesome. :)

*Faith
We decided to return to church today. It should be interesting, first time with baby in tow. They do have a nursery, quite a large one, too. They also have a "cry room", a soundproof room for mammas with crying babies where the sermon/service is on a tv. God has given me so much the past few years, and I really haven't spent time worshipping and studying His word like I should.

*Body Image
Same song and same dance. When you have a kid, your body turns to total crap. I need to change my attitude about myself and be gentle and patient with the journey of "coming back." And for Savannah's sake, I need to ban negative self talk.

Brooks Inspire Daily
I'm blessed to be a part of the Brooks ID program for the 6th year in a row. Their generous sponsorship is something I am very thankful for. I will continue to try to spread the Run Happy (Coach Happy) spirit!

(Run) Happy New Year, friends!

Round the Bay Relay, Year 3

This was the third year the AL Gulf Coast group headed over to the FL Gulf Coast for the Round the Bay Relay. If you remember, last year I did my longest run EVER, the entire relay (ultra for me) of 36.8 miles. It was my big shebang before the 50 miler that never happened. The year before, I was the only girl on the all-guys team. We killed it and won the entire relay.

This year… every run/workout is a constant reminder that I am not in the shape I used to be in. Most days, I am okay with it. I know it's a process. I know my body has been through an ordeal, and I know that I love my baby more than anything else. Some days, though, FRUSTRATION. On paper, my numbers are looking okay. My mileage is decent (for someone that has a full time job and an infant), and my workouts are a decent speed, nothing very fast, but decent enough for someone that took NINE months off speed work. What the training log doesn't show is how I feel. I'll be honest when I say every speed workout feels like a race. The effort I'm putting into those is quite significant. Of course, the coach in me knows that eventually this balls-to-the-wall-workouts-in-training-thing is going to bite me in the butt. I just. can't. let. up. It's combination of being mad at myself for being so slow and the memory of what I used to be.

The relay this year was bitter-sweet. The guys still had their super-competitive team. I really wanted to be a part of everything, but knew that I wasn't fast enough for their team, nor was I able to do the entire thing by myself. So, I threw together a wives' team. We only had 4 people; so I ran the first two legs, for a total of 16.5 miles. This would be my longest run since finding out I was pregnant in mid-January.

The night before I volleyed the decision of whether or not to wear the Garmin. I've somewhat gone back to the thinking that I run better without it. It allows me to listen to my body and run stress-free. I can focus on other things besides looking at that dreadful screen a bazillion times per mile. However, I really wanted to pace myself well and KNOW my pace. I decided to go Garmin-free and just wear my trusty Timex. My longest run prior to this was 14 miles; so the last thing I needed was pressure to go fast. *And then the competitive idiot beast took over…

All the start times were staggered; and our team was at 6:50. The first two legs were the longest, with the 2nd leg being the toughest. I started WAY too fast. I didn't need the Garmin to tell me that my effort in the first 2-3 miles was above what it needed to be. However, I was chasing some girl in total black spandex. (Why do I do this?!? Especially considering she was doing HALF the distance I was doing.) Finally I came to my senses and let her go. I decided to listen to my iPod. I NEVER do this in races or workouts; however I wanted to return to proper long run pace *slow the crap down*. It worked, and I was able to find my happy place/pace. I missed a turn at the start of the 2nd leg, extending the leg by 1-2 tenths. I felt really strong until about 1:30 in. (I don't know the mileage b/c the course wasn't marked and I had no Garmin.) The wind on the LONG bridge was wearing me down, and I felt myself mentally losing it. I decided to see how many people I could pass in the remainder of my legs. I had passed 15 so far; so 20 "kills" seemed like an appropriate goal/distraction. It threw me for a loop a little bit b/c I was seeing different people that I started with due to the exchange zone. I passed two people on the bridge, taking the count to 17. Part of the team was waiting for me there, and that was a big boost to see them. Keith was there, told me I looked really strong and that I had about a mile to go. Whoohooo! I looked at the watch and made mental note that in about 8-ish minutes, I hoped to be finished. And if that was case, WOW, I would be making super time! However, 8 minutes later I still couldn't see the exchange zone. UGH! Sure enough, 3 minutes later I rounded the corner and saw the exchange. My pace had been 8:06 average. I was pleased b/c this was my longest run in close to a year and also the fastest long run. Sam and I have run a few 12 milers close to this, but on a much easier course.

The rest of the relay was fun, as they always are. The guys team got 2nd place. I couldn't help to feel a little bit of a sting when the first ultra runners were recognized and then the speedy relay teams. After talking to Keith on the way home, I came to the realization that I do not like being average. In fact, average to me sucks. I felt like I sucked b/c I didn't WIN or PLACE. If that isn't straight off the Crazy Train, I don't know what is.

I love being a mom. I love Savannah so much; there really is no greater love. I'm still in amazement that we made her and that she is mine. She is so much fun, and I love watching her grow.

But there are those moments, when for just a second, I miss my old self. Or certain things about myself. I miss my size 2s (vain, I know), pedicured toes, and my hair. Yes, my hair is still falling out, and it's left a hideous sight. I miss how I could breeze through a 20 miler at 8 minute pace without a twinge of pain and very little effort. I miss sub 1:30 400s on the track. I miss those old tempo paces that at times I used to think were slow. (Man, I would kill for those now.) I miss the feeling that I could run a marathon at the drop of a hat.

But then, there are these…

Run Happy, Friends!                         

The New Edition

Big news, but first a look at my training…
*Side note: I am a follower of this blog where she mentioned that by being transparent in her training, she held herself accountable. YES! This is my attempt as well. And besides, after months of baby updates, it feels nice to write about my running. (Since my entire life is consumed with baby.)

Week of Dec. 8:
Mon: 12 miles. Sam and I have been doing one medium long run a week. It's super early, but I really like it, and it gives me flexibility in the week to do a shorter stroller run or sleep in one day.

Tues: 3 x 1.5 miles. I was late getting out of the house; so I had to reduce the cool down, but total was 7 miles. 1.5 repeats were at 6:45, 6:37, and 6:39 averages. I've been doing my tempo workouts with a Garmin, but I've been putting it on the screen that does NOT show the pace. I can see the distance of the interval or the run, but not the pace. This is forcing me to train by effort.

Wed: 7 miles, 4 were with the stroller. I was basically buying my time until hubby got off work. Then he met me and took Savannah for the rest of my run.

Thurs: 1 min on/1 min off fartlek run of 30 min total, plus 15 min warm up/cool down, totaling 8 miles. Paces were all over the place due to a VERY windy morning on the track. The school track is in the middle of a  field; so there is no break from the wind. Even the calmest of days can bring on a breeze of some sort. I've gone back and forth about doing these timed intervals on track or road. I used to HATE the track, but since returning to training, I like the feeling of being on the track and feeling like a "real" runner. I know that sounds crazy, but I feel like my mind and effort go into "work" mode more on the track.

Fri. 8 very easy

Sat. 8K race, 8 miles total. I had a VERY rushed warmup. I still haven't mastered the whole nurse-baby-in-car before warmup routine. My warmup was less than a mile and even then, that was hubby getting my race bib and helping me with shoes, etc. All you parents out there know that getting out of the house is a HUGE ordeal. It's amazing I showed up with shoes on to race.

The 8K was mixed with a half marathon. I honestly wanted to do the half, but I respect the fact that I'm not in shape to race a half at this point, and these shorter races allow me the opportunity to race and use the results as benchmarks for my training.

This particular race is growing. Each year gets bigger and bigger. It's flat, cheap, low frills, but GREAT. I targeted 6:45 as my goal pace for the race. I did the 10K last month at 6:54, and I could tell that I'd improved some. I started on plan with mile 1 at 6:45. That felt pretty good and mile 2 was 6:42. At the turn around, I could tell I had some in the tank; so I decided to put it out there a bit and test the waters. I was locked into 2nd female. 1st was too far to catch, and at the turn around, it seemed 3rd was too far back to catch me. Mile 3 was 6:40, followed by mile 4 at 6:40, with a final kick of mile 5 at 6:33. 

8K average 6:42.

Sun: So, we had our work party and our first "date" night since Savannah was born. I drank a little too much. (Don't worry, I pumped and dumped!) This led to a craptastic 12 mile run.

Total for the week: 63 miles.

Enter this week…
Every year, the week before Christmas break totally kicks my butt. Elementary schools completely overdo the holidays, in my opinion. I start every Christmas break wanting to quit my job, feeling completely overwhelmed, exhausted, and often SICK.

Mon: I slogged through a stroller run of 4 miles. I had intended to do more, but by the time hubby got home, I just didn't have any energy. I think the sickness was already looming.

Tues: 12 miles with Sam, and we were in the low 8s on pace feeling GREAT.

Wed: OH MY GOODNESS, HUBBY BOUGHT ME A TREADMILL!
Yep, I've wanted one for years, mostly for the convenience of it. I came home to a complete surprise. At a time where we have very little money, i surely didn't expect this. Apparently, he's been hoarding his fishing tournament money and found a good deal on this one. I LOVE IT. It's a Pro Form Marathon. I did 7 miles, 3 at 6:49 pace to break it in.

Thurs: Still enjoying the new tready. You can run different portions of the Boston course. It shows them on the screen and simulates the elevation. I did Miles 11-18 and it was really cool!

Fri: Sickness of death. My head hurts, my nose is stuffed up, and I feel like all around CRAP.

Will rally and regroup to get in some good stuff this weekend. UGH!

Run Happy, friends!

The Dreaded Returning to Work

Nothing could prepare me for how bad I did NOT want to leave my baby and go back to work. Weird thing is, I've always liked working. I never saw myself as wanting to stay home all day. The thought of leaving my baby, though, was so beyond terrible that I felt like my heart was breaking. Sunday night, I basically pulled an all-nighter. I was so filled with worry and dread. All I could do is stare at Savannah and feel ever so sorry for myself. I truly, truly hate money. I hate it. I hate what it does to society. I hate the feeling of needing it. I hate the feeling of wanting it. I've always been pretty content with my financial situation. Crazy, right? I'm a school teacher. I don't have a problem living more of a simple life than many of my friends. It's really a decent living. I mean, who really NEEDS cable/satellite? And until a month ago, I drove around my payment-free 11 year old Honda with 200K miles and was perfectly fine with it. We live in a nice, but modest home, and I am able to afford my groceries every month, along with a  few other "pleasures." Enter Savannah. All of a sudden, I found myself resenting the fact that I'm the bread winner, insurance holder, and main financial provider for our family. I'm at a place where I don't want to work. Or maybe I should say that I don't want to leave my baby. And then there's coaching. If you've been following this blog for any sort of time, you know how much my coaching means to me. I have worked so hard to get where I am. And right now, I just want to throw it all away. Coach C was fired (yet again), and I was offered head track position… with $1200 raise. How could I resist that? I've found myself between the rock and hard place of desperately wanting to stay home with my baby, but needing money to pay for all of her needs. All the while helping the hubby look for a better job (with no luck). It SUCKS.

Once I got past Monday, school was actually kind of nice. I still missed Savannah like crazy and texted the baby-sitter 100 million times, but it was good to see all my teaching friends and get back to teaching. (I would still LOVE to stay home, but teaching wasn't so miserable.)

The training took a major hit this week, but it could've been worse. Monday I did nothing. I was basically a train wreck emotionally, and all I wanted to do was hug my baby any moment I wasn't working. I even had a pity party for myself when I got home and said that I wasn't doing Boston. Just to screw it all. I was quitting running and becoming a couch potato. (So I could hold my baby all the time.)

Keith (The Voice of Reason) reminded me of all the times I didn't want to run, but felt better afterwards. He reminded me how I felt when i skipped runs, and how I've worked so hard to get "back" the past two months, and why would I quit now?

Tuesday morning I did one of my favorite types of workouts- the combo of tempo and track. I had a warm up (2 miles), followed by 2 tempo miles (6:51 pace) and 7 x 300. I'm still really struggling with my leg turnover and foot speed, and only ran the 300s at 6:07 pace. Then I cooled down by running home.

Wednesday I did an easy 8 miles.

Thursday I ran with Savannah in the Bob stroller for the first time! She LOVED it! We did 3 miles together, and then I passed her off to daddy at home while Sam and I ran more to total 8.

Friday… enters the Crazy Train. So hubby has tickets to the SEC Championships this weekend. He left Friday around lunch and won't be home until tomorrow afternoon. SO… I did my 14 mile long run before work Friday. Yep, 14 miles, starting at 3:45 a.m. BOOM! 8:11 average for the run.

And this morning I took Savannah on a 5 mile run. I would've done more, but we had to go to a birthday party for our nephew.

Tomorrow I plan to do my tempo workout with hubby gets home from his trip.

And that's  how life rolls now. Any mammas out there struggle badly when going back to work after leave?

Turkey 10K

I did another race this past weekend. Our club had its usual Turkey Run, but this year they added a 10K to the 5K and 10 Mile options. I wanted to try my hand at "racing"; so coach suggested the 10K. I picked 7 minute pace as a reasonable goal, based on my 5 mile tempo run that averaged right at 7 minutes per mile.

First off, the breastfeeding/running balance is hard. Most BFing moms prefer to feed right before running for two obvious reasons- baby will be full and happy for whoever is keeping her while I run and who wants to run with huge rock-hard boobs that will spurt milk at any given moment. This race was about 45 minutes away; so I chose to nurse in the car at the race. Fun times. And then of course, there is always some sort of slow-down and bathroom line; so my warm up was minimized to less than a mile. I think I did about 6 minutes of running before heading to the start.

I started about 4 rows back, which was odd for me. I didn't feel like I deserved to be up front, and I sure didn't want to be "that girl" that thinks she's fast, when she's not. (We've all been to races with these morons.) Hindsight, I shouldn't started maybe in the 2nd row, as I was really stuck in the pack and did a lot of weaving the first mile.

All 3 of the race options were out-and-back. This was good b/c I would have people to run with at least going out, and then I could see who was running each distance. However, I was smart enough to only choose myself to compete with. I wanted to "feel" the race again, push myself, but also meet my 7 minute goal in a smart way.

The half mile was spent running in the grass, dodging and weaving, merely trying to get into a groove and out from under the slower pack.
Mile 1: 7:15

I caught up to my friend Melanie's husband and two of his friends. I ran with them until the 10K turn around. (They were doing the 10 miler.) Her husband is a college XC coach, and he recently offered one of my runners a scholarship to run there. (More on that in another post, but EXCITING!)
Mile 2 & 3: 6:52

I felt really good. I was working hard, but not in over my head. However, I kept seeing Sam and all my buddies I used to be able to run with up ahead. A sense of sadness and self-pity came over me. WILL I EVER BE FAST AGAIN?

After the turn around, I had to rally mentally. No one was around me. There was one male way up ahead, but there was no way I could catch him. The 2nd half of the race was just me and my watch and my thoughts. I looked at my Garmin one hundred million times. It wasn't because I was struggling, really, it was more out of boredom. Racing is pretty stupid when you are alone, especially when you aren't in shape, and your 10K "race" pace is slower than your marathon PR pace. I passed the water stop and I heard my friend Joy's husband tell the other worker that I just had a baby.
Mile 4: 6:51
Mile 5: 6:52

By the time I got to the last mile, I started running into some 5K walkers. I will never understand why people walk straight in the middle of the road, especially if they know another race is happening. I am always mindful to stay on the edge of the road or at least in a specific lane. These people were 5 abreast . "On your left!" I yelled.
Mile 6: 6:50

The sweetest thing when I rounded the corner for the last 0.2, I saw Keith with baby Savannah right by the finish line. I used what I had left to kick it in.

0.2: 6:36 pace

Total time: 43:17, just a mere 4 minutes at 26 seconds off PR. UGH, shoot me now.

We had a nice time after the race. Sam absolutely KILLED it; so it was neat to watch her finish. We got to catch up with friends we hadn't seen in a long time, and they got to meet Savannah. It wasn't until later than evening I started feeling a little bit down.

I couldn't really pinpoint why I felt badly. I had set a goal for myself and met the goal. I had won the 10K. A feeling of disappointment just lingered. The next morning was gawdawful hot and humid for November. I met Sam & Robyn for our 12 miler. They could tell something was bothering me, and a few miles in we started talking and investigating our issues. (This is something we do together, investigate our issues, LOL.) I then pinpointed a few reasons for my disappointment.

*Even thought I am 2.5 months postpartum, I feel like I should be faster. Granted I have absolutely NOTHING to base this on. It's just the way I feel. I want more than my body can do.

*I could never be jealous of Sam. She's far too gracious, too sweet, and has been through her share of battles, but something about her fast race hit me. It's SO obvious that she is waiting on me in runs. I'm definitely slowing her down. And it's been this way for MONTHS.

*Ugh, race photos. I am trying so hard to banish negative thoughts about my body; therefore I'm not going to type how I'm feeling. Just know that the struggle is there.

And for now, I battle on… Boston bound!

State XC & a Training Update

My third XC season as head coach has ended. And my girls made it to State! Being a small, rural community, the school has only sent a team to State once before this year, and that was my first year as coach. This year, I knew the girls were looking good, but it was difficult to know how we'd do, as they realigned the sections, giving us new competition. Our County is so small, that all the teams automatically advance to Sectionals. At the Sectional, the top 3 teams advance to State, along with the next 6 individuals after the top 3 teams' athletes are removed. I did some research and came to the conclusion that we did have a chance of making it to State. If my predictions were correct, we would battle for 3rd place (out of 9 teams). The race was so close that I didn't know how we did and had to wait for the official results. I had counted finishers, but the race had combined 6A and 7A; so I knew my count was likely flawed somewhere.

It turned out we placed 4th, and the girls were super bummed… until they called out the 6 wild card spots. My 6 girls nailed all the spots! Meaning they were all going to State! (And yes, this is really something basically unheard of in the sport, especially with 9 teams, but it shows you what a tight race my girls ran.) I also had two boys that nailed wild card spots. 

The State Meet was 5.5 hours away, and would mean staying overnight in a hotel. I toyed with the thought of going for nearly a week. I know it sounds crazy for a head coach to miss the biggest meet of the year, but I couldn't even wrap my head around driving that far and staying in a hotel with a 7 week old! I talked to the AD about it, and he gave me his blessing to do whatever I felt was best, saying that he would make arrangements for the assistant coach to be giving access to all typical head coach privileges. I went ahead and got everything squared away for the team, and didn't tell them that I considered not going. However, as race day approached, I decided that I just couldn't miss it. Hubby and I would make the trip.

To my complete surprise, our weekend went amazingly well. We drove up on Friday, and were only about 30 minutes behind the team. We went to the course Friday afternoon. Hubby walked around w Savannah while the team jogged, and we discussed everyone's racing strategies for the next morning. That evening, hubby and I agreed that we might not both be able to attend the team dinner at Olive Garden. Once we got there, though, Savannah was fast asleep in her carrier, and we both enjoyed time with the team. She even slept a LOT that evening, giving me time to make some last minute posters for our tent site and be able to walk the halls checking on the kids. 

Race morning, I slipped out with our assistant coach very early, leaving hubby and baby at hotel for awhile. He arrived at a perfect time, between the girls and boys races, allowing me to feed her in the car. And the 5.5 hour drive went extremely well. We stopped for feedings and diaper changes, but other that those, made great time. She didn't fuss until we were about 20 minutes from home. 

My athletes ran VERY well at State, all but 1 PRed. They had a lot of fun, too. The course is neat, rolling through the Indian Mounds. 

And my own training…

I'm up to upper 40s, low 50s in mileage, with runs from 6 to 13 miles. I had my first tempo workout last week. It was actually labeled "steady state," but I pretty much blasted that out of the water. 

Being I'm starting close to the bottom, Coach has me doing all my runs by feel. However, data is important; so I've been wearing the garmin, but putting it on the screen that just shows mileage or time, not pace. I did a 1 mile warm up, then had 5 miles of "steady state", followed by 1 mile cool down. (Actually the workout read more warm up and cool down, but hubby had to get to work early; so I had to cut part of that.) 

I started the first mile at what felt comfortable/hard. Man, it felt good to run fast! The Garmin beeped at 1 mile of the tempo and flashed a 7:05 on the screen. WHAT?!?! Considering what I'd been running, that didn't seem possible. At that point, I knew I wanted to hold steady or speed up, but would have to be conscious of what I was doing since the garmin didn't show the pace the entire time, only at the end of the mile. 2nd mile came quickly at 7:06. I then had to stop for about 15 seconds to be able to cross an intersection. Next mile 6:56. Something clicked in my head, and I then decided I wanted to feel the burn. I wanted to hurt. I missed the pounding heart, pouring sweat, burning muscles or good, hard running. I didn't want to run steady. I wanted to pound the pavement. I wanted to hurt. It had been 10 LONG months of easy running, of trying to control myself, of being "smart." I didn't want that anymore. I wanted to BLOW. UP. 

Mile 4 6:51

Mile 5 6:50

And blow up afterwards, I did. My jog home was crazy slow, lactic acid hit almost immediately. I had that hard race headache and my vision blurred for a short second. 

It. Felt. Awesome. 

Fast forward to Sunday. Back when I was about 7 months pregnant, I got offered a free entry to the Pensacola Marathon. It would be the 10 year anniversary of the race, and they wanted to recognize all former champions and honor them by a free entry. It was decided I would use the half as an easy run, obviously. This would be only the 2nd time I'd done 13 miles since June. 

In order to control myself, I started with the 3:30 pacing group, which is 8 minute pace, 1:45 half. My friend Livvy was the 3:30 pace leader; so she and I had fun talking and running together. Just after mile 7 (I think) the half marathoners split away from the marathoners. I didn't even wear my garmin; so I had no idea after that what pace I was running. I sped up a little and caught a group of men. One mentioned that we were just under 8 minute pace; so I made mental note to hold steady there until Mile 10. And Mile 10, I was feeling pretty darn awesome; so I decided to push it the last 3 miles. I passed 27 people. LOL. At Mile 11, I passed a guy that yelled at me, "You're kicking too early!" Hahaha. 

Finish time 1:41:30

3rd in AG

Interestingly enough, I don't have a lot of feelings about this race. It was my first PP race; I had no goals attached to it; and it is there for data uses only. I'm neither thrilled nor disappointed with my performance. I feel okay with where I am right now, but a little overwhelmed with the amount of work I have in front of me to get back to where I was. Honestly, I have doubts of EVER getting back there. (I know, I'm only 2 months out; so even discussing it sounds crazy train.) 

This week, I get to switch a 6 miler for an 8, giving me a slight mileage increase, and I get to add fartleks to my routine. Later this afternoon, I'll go for 1 minute on, 1 minute off, at 10K effort. 

And so the comeback continues…

Run Happy, friends!

Hashtag New Mom Life

I have two friends that are also new moms and we communicate via text and Facebook almost daily.  It goes without saying there is a lot of talk about the New Mom Life. Savannah, Daddy, and I are finally getting into somewhat of a routine. However, those of you that have children know that the term "routine" is used extremely loosely, and I'm really shocked at how my Type A personality has adapted to the lack of schedule and structure. Reader's Digest version of what's going on with us these days…

Savannah turned a month old Saturday. WOW, what a month. The child hates to sleep. Yep, fights sleep every step of the way. Mom said I was the same way as a baby. This has been challenging, but mostly b/c of the time consumption spent with her. However, I absolutely love it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. She's such a sweet and cute girl. 

Being that this is a running blog, and I promised to somewhat return the conversation there, here's my new mom life in regards to also being a runner.

I'm still running for time. However, I'm doing 40-45 minutes a day at easy pace still. I've been using the Garmin for the data, but have set the screen to only show the elapsed time. Funny thing- one day recently I decided to run what I thought would be a tempo mile. I was really pushing, and it felt hard, but good. Yeah… got home and checked the history… 7:37 pace. LOL! That shows you how out of shape I am. The rest of my runs are 8:00-8:45 pace depending on the day and the course. Sam and Robyn have come over a few times for us to run together. That has been really, really nice. I've missed them so much. 

I got cleared by the doctor to resume everything, including core work. Um, core work completely sucks post-baby. It's kind of like trying to lift something ridiculously heavy that you have no business lifting, like a CAR. Yep, holding my gut off the ground feels like I'm trying to lift an automobile. Because of this, I'm sticking to the post-natal yoga/pilates routine for another week or so. 

According to the doctor's scale, I'm 6 lbs from pre-baby weight. However, I've lost a ton of muscle strength. I've started using My Fitness Pal to track calories and nutrition. I'm not "dieting" exactly because I'm breastfeeding; meaning I need 500-750 extra calories a day. I'm using the app to track nutrition and as an accountability tool to not eat crap. 

It's easy to eat crap when you are up all hours of the day. It's really crazy that my schedule is not having a schedule. I stay up a LOT during the night. And then I try to catch a few power naps during the day when Savannah sleeps. Keith has been sleeping through the night b/c 1) he has to work, and the drive is an hour, meaning if he's tired it could be dangerous. 2) He can't breastfeed the baby; so I would have to be up anyway. Our schedule is kind of like this…

Baby wakes up for the day at 5-ish a.m.

I feed her, change her, and put her in her bear vibrating seat or her wrap (on me).

I make myself coffee and attempt to eat breakfast before she starts fussing.

Sometimes we go for a walk in the morning or she plays on her mat. 

She naps in the late morning, and I work on lesson plans, grade papers, or clean house.

She then eats, snuggles, hangs out until daddy gets home from work, unless we have appointments or somewhere to go.

If Keith gets home early enough, I go to XC practice.

Once I get home we eat, snuggle, etc, and we give her a bath.

Keith gets her to sleep for awhile while I go run and he cooks dinner.

We eat super late, like 10-11 p.m.

Keith goes to bed, and I feed her when she wakes up. She goes back into her crib until her next feeding around 2 a.m. 

After this feeding, I snuggle her on the couch until 5 a.m.

And REPEAT

The Start of a Long Road Back

So… the night before I went into labor, I signed up for Boston. LOL, yep, sure did. It started as an innocent FB conversation with my coach, and from there it spiraled into me signing up for Boston!

I ran Boston in 2003, but it wasn't anywhere near a good race for me. I had a horrendous case of bronchitis days before the race, but refused to bag it. It was a personal worst, and honestly I don't remember much of it b/c I was so drugged up and miserable with coughing. I haven't done Boston since mostly b/c of track. It's smack in the middle of track season. Well…

I resigned from my job as track coach. And no, it has nothing to do with Baby Savannah. In fact, hubby has encouraged me 100% to continue to coach, knowing how much I love it. See, things got really bad this past spring with Coach C (boys track coach). A lot of things happened that I was not comfortable with, breaking of rules (him not me), inappropriate stuff, etc. I reported these things to the AD, and then to the principal. (The principal has since taken another job and moved on.) I was told at the end of the school year that Coach C was going to be let go, and they would hire a new boys' coach. Well, that didn't happen. And after a lot of soul searching and praying, I chose to resign. I drafted a letter to the AD and new principal explaining exactly why I was resigning- HIM. I didn't leave anything out and basically put it in the administrations hands. If they were going to allow someone to behave the way he has behaved, I didn't want to be a part of it. My position as teacher and XC coach is too valuable to be around a bunch of nonsense. Not to mention, that my once joyous position turned miserable. I hated going out there everyday because of HIM. I know it sounds like the easy way out, but trust me, this was not an easy decision for me. I simply got tired of fighting. And years ago I learned that at some point, you have to value your own happiness. And I knew that if I went back this year, coached with him, watched his bullcrap and suffered his mistreatment, I would be miserable again. And unfortunately, our community still follows the Bubba System in many ways. The AD felt like he couldn't fire him. And ultimately, I have to either choose to step away or deal with it. I chose to step away.

And enter BOSTON. I started back running on Thursday, two weeks post-delivery. YES, this was doctor approved, assuming I had quit bleeding and I got cleared by the chiro, which I did. Coach assigned me a week of run/walk intervals of 5 running, 2 walking, totaling 30 minutes. The old me would've balked at this. However, it's so true that having a child changes you so much. Since pregnancy and delivery and getting to know my precious girl, I don't even feel like the same person. And thanks to gigantic mirror of death, I SAW her being born, and WOW, does a woman's body really go through the ringer.

I had read/heard women describe the first run back and deathly; hubby's coworker even told me that it feels like your insides are falling out.  Conclusion on that is that those women came back too soon, because it did NOT feel like my insides were falling out. I did feel like a gummy worm trying to run upright b/c of my lack of core strength. LOL. It was awkward and weird feeling, but 3 days in and the awkwardness is being replaced by some confidence and better form. I had some soreness at the stitches site, but that also didn't bother me after day 2. And the most excellent news is that I think my bladder is going to be okay b/c I haven't peed my pants on any of my runs! Yep, it's the small things these day. Ha! I'm also doing a few leg and core exercises, but nothing too much. I don't want to risk injury while hormones are still high and things are still going back into place.

And so the training begins. I'm in no way expecting a PR. In fact, I have no idea what to expect. I'm simply going to follow the training and see what happens.

Run Happy, friends!

I'm a MOM!!!!!

I'd like to introduce you all to The Best Thing That Ever Happened, Miss Savannah Lee Bell, born at 2:25 p.m. on her due date, 9/11/14. She weighed 8 lbs and 3 oz, measuring 21 inches long. And we are completely and totally head over heels in LOVE.

I started having light, but regular contractions at 2:00 a.m. Since I was Strep B positive, I would need 2 bags of antibiotics before birth to prevent her from getting it. So, we didn't waste too much time getting to the hospital. At 8:00, contractions were increasing, but I wasn't in too much pain. The Dr broke my water just after 9:00. By 12:00, I was 7 cm dilated and throwing up, crying, and shaking from pain. Haters can hate, but I begged for an epidural. By 1:15 I was ready to push. The pushing took a long time b/c she was face up, but we did it! 

From here, there are really not words. I am so beyond overwhelmed with my own emotions that I can hardly describe it. She is everything I ever imagined and more. I am so in love that I can't quit looking or thinking about her. It's like I'm in some sort of Twilight Zone. I'm handling the lack of sleep. The breast feeding is coming along, but was challenging at first. We found out at her first pediatrician appointment that her tongue was tied to the bottom of her mouth, and we had to go to a pediatric dentist to have it clipped. That was traumatic. Above is a pic of her post-wipe down snuggles, and below is a pic on the way to our first dr appt. 

I'm so blessed beyond belief. I look at her and feel like my life is finally complete. I think back to so many moments in my past where I begged God for this exact life- caring, amazing husband, and beautiful perfect child. It took some time, but prayers really are answered.

Reflecting on Pregnancy

Well, I can't sleep (shocker); so I decided to document a few of my reflections about this pregnancy. I officially have 1 week and 4 days left until Baby Savannah's due date. Dr. thinks I'll go before then, but obviously there's no way to know. I'm HOPING before then, also obviously. Basically, every day is hurry up and wait. Lesson plans are still not finished, but this point I have enough finished to get the sub through almost a month, and surely by then I will have had a little time to work on more. I'm really not that into tracking who reads and doesn't read this blog, but I know over the years this blog has changed quite a bit. I started as a way to document my training. From there it became my sounding board for coaching, divorce, and then a brand new life. Now it seems more of a pregnancy blog, but I promise, this is temporary. I'd really like to get back to posting about my reflections on coaching and running more. It just seems that this baby and pregnancy is all I can think about right now! However, I'm super excited to get back to running and training. I'm looking at it as a new start. Coach and I have already talked about some long term goals that we will narrow down once I am healed and recovered from childbirth.

The BEST Parts of Pregnancy
Obviously, knowing you are going to have a baby is the absolute BEST part of pregnancy. Every day you grow more and more in love with this little bundle and idea of a child that you haven't yet met. It's really weird b/c I feel like I already know her, but can't wait to meet her. And you read a lot about pregnant ladies driving their husbands insane, but I really do feel like it's drawn Keith and I even closer. Yes, he was robbed a bit of that "honeymoon period" of marriage. I mean really, how great are your bedroom relations when you can't keep your eyes open past 7 p.m. and the rest of the time you are bloated, nausea, and miserable feeling? However, we have had so much fun planning for Baby Savannah. Keith has gone with me to every single appointment and baby class, and the man can swaddle like nobody's business.

Feeling her move is also another great thing about pregnancy. At first it feels like little fish swimming in your belly, but now b/c she's so big, I can pretty much tell what body parts are going where. And some of those big movements hurt now. It's fun to imagine what is making her move, like is it a response to what I'm doing? Is she hearing/thinking about something cool? Are these the habits she'll have once she's arrived? And I think it also makes it more "real" for the hubby when he can see and feel from the outside her activity.

This one is so materialistic, but I love shopping for Savannah.  I really don't think I've bought anything non-baby related since finding out I was pregnant. Baby clothes and gear are so much fun.

Rough Surprises
Truth is that I've wanted to be pregnant for over 10 years. I've always wanted a child. However, God knew what He was doing. I can't imagine my life if I would've had a child with my ex. Knowing me, I never would've left him, and I'd likely still be miserable and moving around following his failing career.   Some things, though, were more difficult than I thought they would be.

I was really surprised at how much the body changes bothered me. I'd never really had body image trouble before, and being that I wanted to be pregnant so badly, I never thought it would bother me. I was wrong about that. I liked seeing the belly get bigger, b/c I knew that was the baby, but when your butt loses muscle tone and your thighs/hips get bigger and flabbier, it's HARD not to focus on it. I've done well with my weight gain. I will top out at right around 20 lbs. At my last appointment (38 weeks), I'd gained exactly 20. Some women lose or just maintain the last two weeks (your stomach is mashed to the size of a pea, and nothing really tastes good), or if they do gain it's usually just a pound or two. Surprisingly, I'm not too fearful of getting back to my pre-baby body weight. I know weight is just a number, and my body will find a way to make it work once I start training again. Being patient enough will be the problem, though. Patience is not one of my strong traits.

The lack of energy was harder for me to accept than I thought it would be. It's really frustrating to feel so tired while doing the things that I usually had no trouble with. By the time I get to the end of the day and go to XC practice, I am really cranky, ill, and just tired. It's been extremely difficult to muster up energy to conduct practice in a shiny, happy, energetic way.

I miss things on the no-no list. Just give me a BEER already! Prior to being pregnant, I liked beer on an average level, occasional drinks, nothing over the top. At first I didn't even miss my beer or wine. Something about it being hot and summer makes you want a cold one, though. The same for sushi. I've always liked sushi, but didn't really miss it at first. Now it seems everywhere I go someone is eating or selling sushi! I also miss soft cheeses, batter, and lunch meat. Um, weirdness is that I have always HATED lunch meat. And maybe it's b/c I can't have it right now, but I just want a huge block of deli turkey. LOL.

I didn't really think I'd miss training and racing as much as I do. Since I wanted to get pregnant, I had obviously already been okay with taking a hiatus from racing and training. I planned to run all the way through, but had never planned on racing or training hard. Man, oh man, do I miss it. I miss the sweating hard, the pounding the pavement, even staring at the watch during workouts. I miss running with Sam. (She's still been walking with me, but I miss actually training together.)

Hopefully my next post will be a pic of our beautiful baby girl!

No Baby Yet

I think every woman ever to be pregnant thinks they will have their baby early. And no one could've ever prepared me for the amount of misery I am feeling in these final weeks. *Disclaimer: YES, I am SO thankful to have a healthy baby inside me and I KNOW it's best for her to be fully cooked. However, this is my blog and I am sharing a little of what I am feeling.

Good news: Baby is totally healthy and has caught up to her current growth week, estimating 6 lbs now. (She was a week behind.) My SI joint is feeling WAY better. In fact, I slightly considered running this week. The chiro said my SI joints were "well enough" to run, but why risk injuring or straining anything again this late in the game, especially when it wouldn't be a real "run" anyway, more of a shuffle type woggle. I'm able to walk fairly quickly without pain, and I'm still doing spin class twice a week. (I would go more, but those are the only times I am free.) I'm walking or doing elliptical on the other days, mostly just trying to stay sane. I'm still coaching XC, meaning I'm riding my bike to practice and then on whatever run they do.

Bad news: Um, it's Africa jungle hot here. Like, heat index 117 degrees hot and VERY humid. We've had heat advisories all week. No one could possibly have prepared me for hot I feel. In fact, I have heat rash on my belly. Think about that for a minute. Fun times. Yesterday at car line, I sweated so badly through my pants that I honestly didn't know if I had peed myself or not. Pregnancy problems. I'm also very swollen. By the end of the day I have to take off my wedding rings. It's weird b/c I had zero swelling until the very DAY I hit 37 weeks. Then it came on like a train. It led to a BIG weight gain over the past week. I'm right at 22 lbs total gain for the pregnancy. The doctor wasn't worried at all, explained that the big gain was definitely from fluid retention; she could see it in my hands and ankles, and said it was due to the heat. There isn't much of a remedy at this point, just stay super hydrated and avoid salty foods.

I'm ready, ready, ready to meet my sweet Savannah. Our nursery is totally finished. The running club gave us a sweet "stock the table" shower where we got TONS of diapers, wipes, and fun little things. Then my coworkers gave me a shower with a HUGE Target gift card. We plan to go this weekend and get our last minute things. Baby's bag and my bag are packed. The only thing looming over my head are my lesson plans.

And UGH, the freaking lesson plans. I've done 4 weeks so far, with EIGHT to go. Because of the new Common Core Standards, the plans are taking me a lot longer than usual to write b/c I keep having to look up standard numbers and terms that I used to have memorized (with the old standards). It's a very slow process. Fortunately, the sub I will have is GREAT. By law, since I have the inclusion class, I have to have a certified teacher. I feel so lucky to have gotten her. Sub work is HARD. The pay is crap, and my class is extra challenging with the special needs. She even came on Meet the Teacher Night, on her own time (no pay), so that she could meet some of the students and their parents.

My XC is doing well, but… I really need more boys. As of now, we don't have enough boys that I consider "ready" to run varsity. I'm actually considering entering a few boys as individuals in the varsity race, and having my new/younger runners run JV. I'm concerned that if I put the younger/inexperienced runners in the varsity race, they will feel defeated and over their head. LIke I said before, the school hired my running friend, Kenny, to be my assistant coach. It's working out really well. He's stepped in and helped a lot already, and I know they will be in good hands when I'm out having the baby.

So… that's all going here. Say some prayers for me that Savannah will be born safe and SOON! I'm ready to be a momma!!!!

Hitting the Wall

Well, unfortunately, I think my Running for Two days are over. I have inflamed and strained the fascia around my left SI joint.

Prior to the existence of this blog (ten years ago), I slipped off a curb while running and dislocated my entire SI joint. It was by far the worst running injury I've ever had, topping the tearing of my paroneal tendon during college. My joint stayed dislocated for nearly a week, thanks to misdiagnosis. I then spent 6 weeks in rehab and couldn't run for another 6 after that. The PT told me at the time that SI problems can crop up during pregnancy b/c of the expansion of the hips and pelvis, not to mention your entire gait changes to compensate the weight/placement of the baby. I put it to the back of my mind, and thankfully didn't have any problems with the SI joint for 10 years.

And what feels pretty stupid is that I feel like I gave myself this injury (this time). The week before last, I really let the yoga and pilates slip b/c I had friends and family in town for my baby shower. Then Sunday, my mom and aunt were headed back early. I realized during my run that I better pick up the pace or I would make them late for their EDT. So, I did something I hadn't done in months- run up the hills on my route. Like I said in earlier posts, I've been walking most hills b/c of lower back pain and to keep my HR in "safe" zone. But honestly, the pace I was "running" Sunday was nowhere near fast enough to get into any type of danger zone. I felt a pull coming up the final hill to my house, and I basically had to hobble inside. I've been hobbling ever since.

I saw the chiro, and he did a slight adjustment and ART after my analysis. The good news is that he things it's 100% pregnancy related and I will have instant relief after the baby is born. The 2nd good news is that if NOT, he can do one or two alignments on me and THEN I will be as good as new. The bad news is that since the baby is already engaged in the pelvis, there isn't too much he can do in terms of adjusting my alignment, and he said that if I happen to feel good enough to run, my fascia will continue to knot around the joint, putting me in the same painful predicament as last Sunday.

Honestly, it hurts to even walk. I can do spin class and elliptical, which I've been doing the past week. I miss running so much, but mostly I miss running like my old self. I don't want to have back pain anymore. And I sure don't want to jeopardize my running after Savannah is born. My spirits are a little down mostly b/c I spend the majority of the day in pain or discomfort.

My new routine includes a daily cardio session (or maybe two short ones) of walking, elliptical, or spin class. I am also still riding the bike with my high school runners. I've done a good job of keeping myself busy, too.

Last week we had XC camp. This is a topic for a different post, but I organized the camp for all the schools in our county (7). There were some bumps in the road, and I was left exhausted, but I'm really glad I did it. I think the kids had fun and learned a lot.

So, that's a summary of what is going on with my running presently. We're anxiously counting down the days with 5.5 weeks to go. I'm so ready to meet my baby girl that it's all I can think about.

Thoughts About Running For Two (32.5 weeks)

I want to stop and document the working out/running I've been doing during pregnancy. And let me preface this by saying that I really don't like constantly reading blogs about paces and workouts. I am writing this so down the road when a friend is expecting and asks me about my exercise routine while preggo, I can remember! Like I've said before, a few relatives and coworkers have a been a bit less than supportive of my running while pregnant. And to be blunt (since this is my personal space and all), I think those ideas are IGNORANT. A person with a healthy and normal pregnancy should be able to run, assuming they were running prior to conception and assuming they have their doctor's blessing.

So, here is the nitty gritty at this point, over 8 months preggo, 32 weeks and 5 days.
My mileage was at a peak prior to and during conception. I was doing mileage in the 90s, but not too much speed work, as I was training for my first 50 miler.

The first thing I did was reduce the mileage. The old me would've hated this. However, I had night sickness pretty bad, and it left me exhausted for those early morning runs. As my pregnancy has progressed, my mileage has slowly slipped to right around 30-35 miles per week. Those numbers are very humbling. However, I have added other forms of exercise. Here are a few points that I've learned about running while pregnant. Keep in mind that it's different for every pregnant woman.

*You are hotter than normal. In general, being 8+ months in south Alabama is very, very hot. Running outside is hot and humid. I carry a bottle of water with ice for every run, no matter how short. I kept up long runs until the start of the 3rd trimester. I know some pregnant women continue long runs all the way, but for me, I just didn't FEEL like it, as running isn't near as enjoyable anymore. (Once finding out I was pregnant, I cut my long runs back to 14 miles because really, why would I do more?) I run about 5-6 days a week now, around 6 miles each time. Sometimes I will drive to the gym, do 3 miles outside and finish up on the treadmill. The heat sends my heart rate to a place that I'm not comfortable with. NOTE: doctors have confirmed that the "heart rate test" is out of date when placing restrictions on pregnancy exercise. The "talk test" is a better for perceived effort. That's where you make sure you can still talk in complete sentences during workouts. This is especially important in early pregnancy when parts are still developing. And this point, I have a fully grown baby; she just needs to fatten up before being born. :) Fueling is also important. I have found that if I run on empty like used to, I will bonk faster than at Mile 20 of a  marathon where you went out too fast. My coach was kind enough to give me a ton of Power Power fruit puree things, and I eat one of those before heading out each morning. They are really easy to digest, and low in sugar so even early in pregnancy they didn't cause nausea. Don't just take my advice, though. Do your own research and talk to your own doctor. :)

*Stuff will start to ache and hurt. This is where the dreaded saying "Listen to you body" comes into play. I bought a belly support band at about 20 weeks. I didn't really need it then, but had read that it helps with having to pee all the time. (That will be my next bullet.) It didn't help the pee factor. I bought the cheap one from Motherhood Maternity. There are all sorts of brands and styles. They are adjustable; so you can wear them throughout your whole pregnancy. They also have a front and back adjustment strap; so you can change the type of support depending on where you need it most. For me, I feel fine during running, but afterwards… HOLY LOWER BACK PAIN. Also, once I hit 3rd trimester I've had pain "down there." I won't really elaborate on that too much, but imagine doing a century bike ride without a padded seat or padded short. Yeah, that…. They also make a support band that has kind of a jock strap for women, but being how close I am to the end, I'll just tough it out at this point.

*You have to pee. A lot. At about 12 weeks pregnant, Sam and I went on a run, maybe a 7 miler? I stopped for a bathroom break, but a mile later I told her I had to go again. We had a conversation that concluded with both of us thinking it was just in my head, something similar to pre-race jitters that I could definitely make it one and half more miles to my house (also the end of our run). Um, no. I did not make it. I totally peed my pants with a quarter mile to go. So, ladies. Let me just say that I've done the study. You really DO have to pee. It's not in your head; so by all means, hit every bathroom you find, no matter how frequently. And once that belly gets bigger and heavier, you may pee your pants little by little and not even know it. These days when I finish a run I'm honestly not sure if I've just sweated that much or if I peed my pants. Pregnancy, it's a humbling thing!

*Yoga and stretching- if you have read this blog for any point in time, you will know how much I detest stretching and yoga, always have. However, yoga has really been my saving grace throughout this pregnancy. There is no doubt in my head that I would not be running right now if it weren't for my little prenatal yoga video. And disclaimer to add that some doctors do not approve regular yoga practice for two reasons- time spent with heart above head and your ligaments might get overstretched. In pregnancy, ligaments loosen, and it's easier for you to get injured. The hard part is that you have to find a balance b/c you are so tight and achy that the stretching feels awesome, but you can't go too far or you'll risk injury. The prenatal yoga videos have been perfect for me. I do a 10 minute video after each run. Um, but I do put her on mute, as the teacher's voice makes me want to jump through the tv screen and claw her face. LOL.

*Weights and strength- I incorporate prenatal pilates about 3 times a week and weights at the gym about 1-2 days a week. My decision to do pilates is based on wanting to maintain proper balance and core strength throughout pregnancy and help myself bounce back faster after delivery. Once again, the prenatal version makes sure all the moves are safe for mamma and baby. My pilates video incorporates things like lunges and standing squarest, things that maintain leg strength. I'm hoping that also helps my return to training after Savannah is born.

The only things I've done "wrong" is not have a specific schedule for these different types of workouts. I basically go on how I'm feeling that day. On days I don't run, I do the elliptical at the gym, followed by weights. Some days I might do pilates and weights on the same day or some days just running. I should probably be smarter about spacing them out better, but at this point, I really just don't care. If I'm sore, I'm sore. It doesn't make much of a difference, considering something is achy nearly every day.

*What to Wear- Depending on your size before pregnancy, you a may or may not need maternity workout clothes. I have managed fine by sizing up (now 2 sizes) on shirts. My favorite pregnancy running shirt is Brooks Pure Project tank. I bought a size large, and it still fits perfectly with my huge belly. It's even long enough! (And I'm 5'8.) I regularly raid my hubby's racing shirts. For shorts, I still wear a few pairs of my old/regular shorts and just pull them below the belly, Captain Obvious. I did buy a few pairs in a size larger, and am just now needing those as Savannah reaches her birth weight and drops. Bras. Bras. Bras. Bras. I'm still figuring this one out. My chest was the first thing to get huge; A cup to C cup overnight basically. While C is not huge for a lot of pregnant ladies, it feels huge to me after being flat chested all my life. At first, I went up one size in sports bras, but bought the kind with padding. This helped early on when I was super sore. As the soreness faded and I got even bigger, I took the padding out. And then there's the chafing. After all my years of running, I've only chafed a handful of times and never had to use Body Glide. I got chafed badly once from capri tights in the rain. That was a bad one, and my first marathon I wore a cotton teeshirt that chafed my collar bones to the point of blood. That was bad, too. Other than that, never really had a problem with it. Well, first long run with new boobs and new bra chafed my ENTIRE BOOB. Yep, the whole thing. Holy ouch. I like to think that was nature's way of preparing me for breastfeeding. LOL. Since then, I Body Glide like it's my job.

And that's all I have for now. I would really like to run all the way to delivery, but right now I'm taking it week by week. I know that being able to be active and healthy during pregnancy is a huge blessing, and I'm thankful for that.

Run Happy, friends!

Found a Little Help From My Friends… Emerging From Darkness

I had the MOHS surgery Monday to remove the basal cell carcinoma, and they were able to get it all. While I felt extremely thankful, I also had a rainbow full of emotions. I went into the surgery Monday in good spirits, but also very nervous for obvious reasons- safety of my baby, worried they wouldn't get it all, and yes, the vain part of me worried about my appearance. The procedure took nearly two hours, which when you are wide awake and your face is getting cut, is a long freaking time to think. Too long. I was very thankful for the doctor and nurse. They truly did their very best to make me as comfortable as possible, even going as far as to get me a bottle of water with a little straw for me to have during the procedure (and the nurse fed it to me). I was left with 17 stitches between my nose and eye. The nurse asked if I wanted to look at it before she put on the pressure dressing, and I said I didn't, but after a few minutes of encouragement, changed my mind. The sight in the mirror was something I was not prepared for. I had looked at pictures of the surgery online, and thought I knew what to expect, but when it's you, it becomes much more real and shocking. I fought back tears, sucked it up, and left. Summary- the right side of my face looked like I had been beat with a baseball bat- bruising, swelling, and the stitches. The plastic surgeon warned me that I would have pain in a few hours once the anesthetic wore off. He also told me that the tylenol I was allowed to take really wouldn't do anything, that I'd likely have more luck just trying to sleep it out and using an ice pack. He encouraged the ice pack to reduce the swelling, too. I did what he said, slept it out, applied the ice, and rested.

The next morning, we had our 30.5 week appointment. Good news- Baby Savannah is back measuring to her due date, and I had gained 5 lbs; she weighs over 3 lbs. Bad news- Baby Savannah is breech. Breech baby= c-section. True, there is still time for her to turn. The doctor suggested a website that has a lot of exercises and tricks that are supposed to possibly help the baby to turn. I have been doing all of those except the pool ones, which I will start as soon as I get my stitches out tomorrow. We left the doctor's office, and I felt something that I hadn't felt in a long time, probably years- DEPRESSED. I really let self-pity take hold. It just seemed that I was within weeks of having my dream baby in my arms, but that things kept trying to get in the way. And with these things, an incredible amount of fear crept in.

Something I blogged about a long time ago is that I sometimes have a reoccurring fear that something really bad is about to happen to me. After my divorce, when Keith I started dating, I constantly feared that something was about to go terribly wrong. I had the same reoccurring fear right before my wedding, and now that Baby Savannah is about to be born, I started feeling the same way. And then there's the ugliest of all ugly that creeps into my head- JEALOUSY. When things go wrong do you ever feel like everyone else has it so easy? That everyone else is just so… perfect? I struggled with this one, too, after my divorce. Literally ALL of my friends were happily married on their way to the perfect family (or so it seemed). This time I felt discouragement and jealousy because of the things I wanted (or didn't want). My face was a train wreck and 2 out of 5 people with skin cancer get it again. (So this is likely not the end.) I want nothing more than to have a natural delivery and a healthy baby, but she won't turn around. <Insert constant fear that she's not okay and something is wrong with her.> And two of my grandparents died and I didn't get to go to either of their funerals. Anger. Frustration. Depression.

The way I usually deal with my bad feelings is through running. Well, that has really taking a turn down Suck Lane, too. Not to mention the couple of days I couldn't run at all due to my face being busted. I really hate the treadmill, but sadly, that's the only way I can run some mileage without stopping. Anytime I run outside, it's a run/walk due to it being Africa-hot and humid out there. My mileage is majorly in the toilet, maybe 30-35 miles a week? It sounds really stupid to say this, but honestly, that's the best I can do right now. <Insert frowny face>

Wednesday came, and my face started to look much better. And I was allowed to run again (I love endorphins). The swelling went down and most of the bruising faded. I started to examine my crappy attitude. Through the examination of this crappy attitude, I came to a few conclusions.

Every sad/depressing/maddening situation I have faced in my life has always rebounded with something better than I could have ever dreamed of, but it just took time. Example: my horrid ridiculous cheating ex-husband and divorce (train wreck nightmare life) rebounded with a GREAT change in location, new job, and eventually a husband that makes me 10000X of happy.

Smaller things, like running- big ol' achilles injury with two months of crappy running, followed by two months of NO running rebounded with PRs in almost every distance.

Overall sadness my parents have faced the past few years as a result of my dad's accident and brain injury rebounded with 1000x of happiness in their future grand baby. I have never seen my parents this excited.

So… I can only hope and pray that all these things I'm facing will lead me to a healthy baby girl. THAT is the main goal. 17 face stitches, skin cancer, possible c-section, loss of grandparents, sucky running… NONE of those things will ever mean as much to me as being a mom. I just need to keep my eye on the prize and keep praying for Savannah to be healthy.

By Friday, I also came to a conclusion about friendship. I fear that I sometimes am a "taker" in relationships. Meaning, I require more maintenance than the other person. Meaning, I am always taking "help" (advice, care, etc) and not giving much in return. I've felt this way in the past and have tried to work hard at NOT being that person. When things are going badly, it becomes obvious quickly who is there for you, who understands, and who isn't. Once I had that realization, I was able to reflect on myself and ask if I am a good friend to that person and question how much the friendship means to me. Frankly, since I'm well into my 30s I don't care about how many friends I have, but I do care about valuable and meaningful relationships. My college friends reinforced that this weekend. I've known these girls for 17 years. We are thick in and out. They give me honesty, compassion, and can basically read my mind better than any other friends I've ever had. This weekend we went on our yearly girls' trip and while there I talked to them about being a "taker friend." We all came to the conclusion that being A Taker is okay sometimes; sometimes you need that. Ebbs and flows of friendship have them, as each person goes through trials in life.

I came home being filled with positivity. I also came home from my weekend with purpose. First, I'm ready to clean house of my taker friends, and start being a better giver to those that give to me. I'm going to focus on POSITIVE when it comes to my trials and Baby Savannah. My main goal in life right now is to have a healthy baby. Everything else is chump change compared to that.

And those are my deep thoughts this Monday morning. Run Happy, friends!

30 Weeks, Everything Baby, and the Big "C"

Tomorrow I will hit the big 3-0 in pregnancy. Whoohoooo! Time. Is. Dragging. Have you ever met a teacher that wants summer to hurry up? Well, here I am just wanting the days to fly by. Things are going…

Slow. My running has gone to a ridiculously slow pace. Some days I wonder if I can even "count" it as running anymore. I try to be positive- at least I'm out there being healthy, getting exercise, and saving my sanity. I'm running about 5 days a week with one non-cardio day and one elliptical day. Actually, some days I only run a few miles on the treadmill, then hit the elliptical for a few more. I've gotten to where I can tolerate the elliptical. The one I use has a "10K mode." It's a good distraction b/c it charts you for 10K and throws some "hills" in there randomly. I've been fairly consistent with weight lifting, prenatal pilates, and prenatal yoga. I've had some lower back pain, and if it gets too bad, then I know the next day will be a non-running day. Thankfully, I usually only have 1-2 of those a week.

I purposefully didn't blog about this next point b/c frankly, I don't want any more "advice." I have plenty of people in my "real life" to give me that, and even all of that isn't always welcomed. So, my last dr. visit at 26.5 weeks was no picnic. I went in for my routine checkup and found that I'd only gained 1 pound since the last visit, putting me up 9 lbs. total for the pregnancy. I knew I'd be in trouble b/c the doctor told me at 22.5 that she wanted at least a 4 lb gain. I had my routine urine test, blood pressure, and a routine blood test that they do to start the 3rd trimester. All was good. The physician's assistant that I see every time told me not to worry about the weight thing until I talked to the doctor. She said all my other tests were excellent. I had to see a different doctor this time b/c my regular dr is a part of a practice. Policy reads that when you are expecting, you see all the drs in the practice in case a different one has to deliver your baby (which I understand b/c they want the mom to feel more comfortable). Right off the bat, this "new" dr said something about my weight. She measured my belly, said it was just a tad small, and wanted to do an ultrasound. *Enter panic mode.* Hindsight is that this person did not use the best bedside manner for a first-time, type A mom. She never once reassured me or really told me what was going on. Then I heard her in the hallway talking to the physician's assistant. She told her that she wanted me to have an ultrasound and told her my weight gain so far. The physician's assistant told her I was a runner and told her my test results (all good). The doctor came back into the room and asked me a bunch of questions about my running. At this point, the physician's assistant was also in there, explaining that my regular doctor was very supportive of my running, etc. The new doctor asked if I felt like I was shaking the baby while I ran!?! At this point, I am fighting back tears and can hardly answer her. Thank goodness the tech came in and said the ultrasound room was ready. And guess what, Baby Savannah is perfectly healthy. She was measuring a "week behind", but anyone that knows about pregnancy knows that babies can be "ready" anywhere from 37 to 42 weeks. And the due date is always an estimate, unless you were tracking ovulation and intercourse closely, which we were not. (Sorry, TMI.) So… a week behind is FINE, and even then, many babies had a growth spurts and catch back up to original dates. Then we went back into the dr.'s office and she drilled me about my eating and running some more. I was a little bit calmer after seeing that Baby Savannah was perfectly healthy. The new doctor passively accused me of having an eating disorder, kept looking at hubby every time I answered a question about my eating. It was pretty traumatic. As I was about to walk out of the door, the physician's assistant called me back and told me everything was fine and not to worry. She said to keep eating healthy and exercising, but just listen to my body. With that being said, I've tried to boost it up in the calories department lately. I go back again Tuesday, but thankfully will see my regular doctor.

And I found out today that I have a basal cell carcinoma skin cancer on my face. I'm really praying that it's not a big deal. I will call today to schedule the removal procedure. I wanted to go over everything with the baby doctor, and after talking with the OB nurse, found out the procedure they are planning, MOHS surgery, is perfectly safe for Baby Savannah. They are also have a plastic surgeon do the procedures; so hopefully scarring will be minimal. Right now my biggest fear is that they can't get it all with the MOHS, and I will have to wait until after she's born for a bigger surgery.

Savannah's room is nearly finished. Hubby made the border at work, and that is up. We bought her basic bedding, and she has all her furniture. My mom gave me the rocker she used when I was a baby, but I have to paint that white at some point. I'm thinking when my online class finishes in two weeks, I will have more time/motivation for that. We've been buying things here and there, mostly things we find on big sale. Big news is that my parents bought us a BOB jogging stroller!!!! It's been the best gift so far. When I saw the UPS man in the driveway, I thought he was delivering the carseat we recently ordered online. He came to the door with a much bigger box than I planned, and I saw that it said "BOB" on the side. I'm like, "Oh my goodness, what IS that???" He's thinking I'm nuts, wanting to say, "How the heck should I know, lady?" but says, "I'll bring it in for you and you can find out." In my lonesome I was squealing and laughing, and then I put it together all by myself. Score! No worries, hubby came behind me and made sure I'd gotten the wheels good and tight.

I'm so ready to Run Happy with my little girl!!!!!