August 31, 2014
Reflecting on Pregnancy
Well, I can't sleep (shocker); so I decided to document a few of my reflections about this pregnancy. I officially have 1 week and 4 days left until Baby Savannah's due date. Dr. thinks I'll go before then, but obviously there's no way to know. I'm HOPING before then, also obviously. Basically, every day is hurry up and wait. Lesson plans are still not finished, but this point I have enough finished to get the sub through almost a month, and surely by then I will have had a little time to work on more. I'm really not that into tracking who reads and doesn't read this blog, but I know over the years this blog has changed quite a bit. I started as a way to document my training. From there it became my sounding board for coaching, divorce, and then a brand new life. Now it seems more of a pregnancy blog, but I promise, this is temporary. I'd really like to get back to posting about my reflections on coaching and running more. It just seems that this baby and pregnancy is all I can think about right now! However, I'm super excited to get back to running and training. I'm looking at it as a new start. Coach and I have already talked about some long term goals that we will narrow down once I am healed and recovered from childbirth.
The BEST Parts of Pregnancy
Obviously, knowing you are going to have a baby is the absolute BEST part of pregnancy. Every day you grow more and more in love with this little bundle and idea of a child that you haven't yet met. It's really weird b/c I feel like I already know her, but can't wait to meet her. And you read a lot about pregnant ladies driving their husbands insane, but I really do feel like it's drawn Keith and I even closer. Yes, he was robbed a bit of that "honeymoon period" of marriage. I mean really, how great are your bedroom relations when you can't keep your eyes open past 7 p.m. and the rest of the time you are bloated, nausea, and miserable feeling? However, we have had so much fun planning for Baby Savannah. Keith has gone with me to every single appointment and baby class, and the man can swaddle like nobody's business.
Feeling her move is also another great thing about pregnancy. At first it feels like little fish swimming in your belly, but now b/c she's so big, I can pretty much tell what body parts are going where. And some of those big movements hurt now. It's fun to imagine what is making her move, like is it a response to what I'm doing? Is she hearing/thinking about something cool? Are these the habits she'll have once she's arrived? And I think it also makes it more "real" for the hubby when he can see and feel from the outside her activity.
This one is so materialistic, but I love shopping for Savannah. I really don't think I've bought anything non-baby related since finding out I was pregnant. Baby clothes and gear are so much fun.
Truth is that I've wanted to be pregnant for over 10 years. I've always wanted a child. However, God knew what He was doing. I can't imagine my life if I would've had a child with my ex. Knowing me, I never would've left him, and I'd likely still be miserable and moving around following his failing career. Some things, though, were more difficult than I thought they would be.
I was really surprised at how much the body changes bothered me. I'd never really had body image trouble before, and being that I wanted to be pregnant so badly, I never thought it would bother me. I was wrong about that. I liked seeing the belly get bigger, b/c I knew that was the baby, but when your butt loses muscle tone and your thighs/hips get bigger and flabbier, it's HARD not to focus on it. I've done well with my weight gain. I will top out at right around 20 lbs. At my last appointment (38 weeks), I'd gained exactly 20. Some women lose or just maintain the last two weeks (your stomach is mashed to the size of a pea, and nothing really tastes good), or if they do gain it's usually just a pound or two. Surprisingly, I'm not too fearful of getting back to my pre-baby body weight. I know weight is just a number, and my body will find a way to make it work once I start training again. Being patient enough will be the problem, though. Patience is not one of my strong traits.
The lack of energy was harder for me to accept than I thought it would be. It's really frustrating to feel so tired while doing the things that I usually had no trouble with. By the time I get to the end of the day and go to XC practice, I am really cranky, ill, and just tired. It's been extremely difficult to muster up energy to conduct practice in a shiny, happy, energetic way.
I miss things on the no-no list. Just give me a BEER already! Prior to being pregnant, I liked beer on an average level, occasional drinks, nothing over the top. At first I didn't even miss my beer or wine. Something about it being hot and summer makes you want a cold one, though. The same for sushi. I've always liked sushi, but didn't really miss it at first. Now it seems everywhere I go someone is eating or selling sushi! I also miss soft cheeses, batter, and lunch meat. Um, weirdness is that I have always HATED lunch meat. And maybe it's b/c I can't have it right now, but I just want a huge block of deli turkey. LOL.
I didn't really think I'd miss training and racing as much as I do. Since I wanted to get pregnant, I had obviously already been okay with taking a hiatus from racing and training. I planned to run all the way through, but had never planned on racing or training hard. Man, oh man, do I miss it. I miss the sweating hard, the pounding the pavement, even staring at the watch during workouts. I miss running with Sam. (She's still been walking with me, but I miss actually training together.)
Hopefully my next post will be a pic of our beautiful baby girl!