November 22, 2009

So, I failed again. Now what?

Remember National Board Certification? Well, I didn't score high enough. Yep- failure. I found out Friday that I was one of the 60% that fails on the first try. Surprisingly, I handled the actual news quite well. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry and I held to that until Friday night when I talked to Jenn on the phone. See, they break your score into 10 sections (there were 10 parts to this 'project') and then each section is weighted. For each section you score below a certain score, they give you the option to retake that section. I have the option to retake 4 out of the 10 to try to get my score up to 275. At first, I was just ready to bag the whole idea. I just felt so defeated and so SICK OF WORKING HARD.

Yeah, the Quitter Me lasted less than 12 hours. All it took was a little push from my principal to get me to agree to at least re-look at my things to see what I could do and which sections, if not all 4, I would like to resubmit. Alecia talked me through a lot of the frustration by listing all the things I had/have going on in my life over the past year. On top of that, it was the most tumultuous year of my life. Basically telling me to give myself a giant break. So... just like the sub 3 hour marathon, keep on trucking, right? I didn't get it the first time. So what? If something was easy, everyone would do it.

Ryan Hall is one of my favorite runners, but mostly b/c of his past. While he was 'good' in high school, he wasn't knock-the-doors-down phenomenal. Now? Oh yeah, he rocks in a major way. He is also known to be a tremendously hard worker, another characteristic I admire in people. I read more about him in Sept/Oct 2009 issue of Marathon & Beyond. I found this quote which totally fits my situation.

"Dream big, but let your dreams inspire how you live today. Dreams should not be about the end goal, but rather about day-to-day living." ~Ryan Hall

Ps. Oh, yeah- running. I haven't been doing it this week!!!! I took a whole week off, but plan to run a little today. The break felt very nice and I did eliptical 3 days this week. Other than that, I caught up on sleep and did a lot of stretching/foam rolling.

8 comments:

  1. so sorry you didn't get that certification but you will get it! i'm impressed with everything you do and especially the fact that "Quitter You" was there for only 12 hours. i think i would have wallowed for longer !

    it will happen but like you said, if it were easy everyone would do it. keep you head up girl :)

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  2. Sounds like you have great approach to the situation. It sounds incredibly hard, but at least you have only 4 to retake, you passed 6 on the first try! I can tell by your writing that this year has been a hard one, but you keep moving forward and I'm so inspired by you. **hugs**

    CJ

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  3. Yeah-I love this blog! I didn't think for one second you would give up after I read the first paragraph. Looking at you through my eyes all I see is an extremely motivated, ridiculously fast, and exceptionally determined girl that I could only dream of being! Good luck on the certification and enjoy the little break from running!

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  4. do you have to redo four of the projects? are they papers? if i can help you in anyway (proofing) please let me know. i may not be able to help you at all since i've been out of school for a while, but i thought that i'd at least offer. let me know!

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  5. Sorry about the certification, but you have a good attitude about it. Pick yourself up and fix what needs to be fixed and move on from there. Good luck on getting it all done with everything else you have going on.

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  6. You can do it! I know what it's like to suffer defeat, as I did not pass the Bar exam on my first try. Dust yourself off, resubmit the 4 sections, and keep going - you're a very smart, tough lady, and I know you'll do this!

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  7. Bummer, Rebecca. But like you said, Keep on Truckin'! I'm glad you're relaxing a little with your running this week. Enjoy the down time.

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  8. You did NOT fail! You are not a failure - not possible. You simply tried and will have to try again. Getting 'back up' and trying again is what will make us stronger - that is why you are such a great runner ;). Trust me, I have 'failed' at so many things in life and have made so many horribly bad decisions and now I am unhappy in life, work, etc. I am financially responsible for myself so can't afford to just change my life instantly, but I'll take it one step at a time. Chin up girl :)

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