March 11, 2009

My First Rant

Okay, here are some things I would like to get off my chest. Read fast b/c most likely in a few hours I will feel guilty and reword or possibly delete this post. Here are some things I want all Brewtonians to know:
1. The pedal on the right, near your foot, is called the accelerator. It helps your car move forward. When you see a tan Honda behind you, please step on it. I am trying to get to work!
2. If you are going to bother writing a sign by hand (because you are too cheap to get one made or use a computer), please make sure words are spelled correctly.
3. If your business goes bankrupt, do something to the area, like clean it up. Don't leave it for years to become a pig-pen trash dump.
4. Can we not do something about the stench of the paper mill? On a humid or raining day, I can only breathe through my mouth.
5. Honking wildly and squealing your tires next to me, while I am running, is not a turn on.
6. Wear clothing while driving.
7. Don't talk to me in Walmart. I am trying to exit as quickly as possibly.
8. I am not jogging; I am running. Thank you.
9. Posting a sign threatening hell and damnation is not going to get people to come to your church. That is offensive; please remove it.
10. If you have a nicer car than your child's teacher, you should not need Federal Free or Reduced Meals. Please don't ask the government to pick up your slack b/c you don't have your priorities straight and would rather buy beer and cigarettes.


  1. Should we be call you Squirelette ;)

    I totally agree about the honking while running. I would also add turning your brights on and spitting. Yes I actually had someone spit, it was in one word... Gross!

  2. I wanna know the story behind #6.

  3. I swear we could be cut from the same cloth. Perfect rant! #10 is truly the best.

  4. Two words:


  5. You'll feel better after a jog.