September 7, 2015

Riding the Waves

I'm not a huge country music fan, but I do this song with these lyrics-

If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

I've been deep down in that darkness
I've been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different deamons breathin' fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I'd fall right into the trap
That they were layin'

But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin' out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been draggin' for so long
You're on your knees might as well be praying'

My class… oh my word, my class… a week ago, I was desperately searching "help wanted" ads. Well, not really, but I was heavily pondering what else I could do beside teach. I was feeling very discouraged by the dynamics of my class. Like I've discussed in previous posts, something I struggle with frequently is feeling like I'm not accomplishing anything teaching. I went into this profession to make a difference, but right now it feels as if I'm spinning my wheels. EVERYTHING is a battle. I left school and practice Thursday really feeling like crap. I skipped the group run, and Squishy and I went to Walmart. I had peanut butter M & Ms and 2 beers for dinner and went to bed pretty early. I got up extra early Friday and ran 12 miles. I got to school early and was faced with a decision my principal had made regarding a discipline issue. We didn't see eye to eye on the issue. There wasn't a fiery disagreement, even though I feel like I had a valid reason. I simply felt so beat, like nobody was in my corner. It was just going to be me and 27 kids (20 boys, 10 special ed) all year battling it out. 

It's neat how God send people in your life and into your day right when you need it most. A few of the special ed teachers were switch this year, and I got a REALLY good one. He's very overworked, however; so things have still been tough. Anyway, he took the time to talk to me Friday morning, and it meant so much to me. I shared with him a lot of my feelings of failing and frustration. In return, he listened, encouraged, and offered some advice. On top of that, I think the kids sensed that I had really hit the wall for the week. They were super good! We had a class meeting about behavior, expectations, and reaching for our goals. We talked about how important it is to be a leader, not a follower, especially when it comes to misbehavior. And we had a fantastic day (and that's including the projectile vomit that happened in the center of the room #teacherlife)! 

Saturday morning I awoke SUPER tired. I wasn't feeling too pumped about the meet, but I rallied my energy for my athletes' sake. It turned out that my girls ran AWESOME! Our overall team average was 2 over two MINUTES faster than last year! And last year we placed 10th out of 20 teams; this year was 5th out of 18!!!! Many of my girls ran very close to their PRs, and their PRs are from the end of the season last year when the weather is nice and cool. Yesterday was 84* with 95% humidity (ICK). My guys…. sigh… bless their hearts. I'm not sure what to do with them. I just can't seem to lead them to success. I have a few that work hard and place well, but for the most part, they really don't care about being fast. 

Truth time: WHAT IN THE WORLD???? How are you a high school boy and not really care about being fast? My mind is just blown. I've tried everything in the world to get them to push themselves at practice and in races. They DO occasionally, but never to the point that girls do. And never consistently. And that leads us to a 20th out of 28th place finish, with ZERO improvement from last year's team average. 

On my own training front, I made a pretty big decision last week about my fall/winter marathons. Here's what my plan is-

Early Nov. Pensacola Half Marathon 
Late Nov. MIssissippi Coast Marathon 
Mid Dec. Holiday Half Marathon or 8K
Mid Jan. First Light Half Marathon OR Relay
Late Jan. Big Beach Marathon

Late Feb. RnR New Orleans Half Marathon

So… I revised my training schedule a bit. Yesterday's run was great- 15 miles with 8 at GMP. I'm leaning towards trying to run a 7:10-7:15 pace in the marathon. Taking into account the heat and humidity, online calculators said to slow my pace 10-15 seconds per mile. Lizzie and Sam did the run with me, and we hit 7:24, 7:24, 7:21, 7:16, 7:19, 7:16, 7:16, 7:05. So it was a nice progression run! We will see where the rest of my training takes me! I'm definitely ready for fall. This 95-100% humidity is getting pretty old. 

On the family front- Squishy turns ONE on Friday! I can't believe it! Time has really flown. 


  1. Oh, cool, maybe I will see you at RnR NOLA again! I was pleased to note that my tempo miles have not been as slow as I thought if I consider the heat. The online pace calculator actually put me right where I should be, although I think my effort still felt too hard. C'mon, fall!

  2. Hmmmm...perhaps I should make a road trip to NOLA that weekend;)??!

    Your perspective seems really good all things considered and thank GOD someone came in to help and give advice. (not meant sarcastically;))

    Is someone listening to their body?! If so, bravo! Your running looks pretty dang solid!

    Congrats to your girls team, and maybe the guys team will run faster for peanut butter M & M's???

  3. Cannot wait to see you in NOLA!!!!!

    I am sorry to hear about the teaching situation.

  4. Hi Rebecca. I just tried to tag you on fb to see if you wanted to be part of a children's book exchange and I saw that your account has been deactivated. Is everything okay?