This is something my dad has been saying recently, and my mom and I think it's pretty hilarious, given his current circumstances. You might say it's mean to laugh at that, but really, if you knew my dad, you would appreciate that, too. (I'm sure I just broke some grammar rule w/ all those commas.)
My dad varies in his daily conversation- alternating b/w reality and fantasy land. When talking to me on the phone the other day, he asked about my running. (All of his calls are unmonitored by Mom now.) He said, "So, are you still running really fast between first and second base?" I just couldn't help but to laugh. Yeah, it really does FEEL like that sometimes, actually.
Anyway, even after TWENTY, yes 20, marathons, I still feel like a newbie. I'm not really sure why, exactly, but something about the marathon always makes me scratch my head and wonder. The pieces of race preparation fit together like a 1000 piece puzzle.
Here are some thoughts on my training, tapering, and current mental status (hahahah). I feel like I had a solid, but not ideal training cycle. By my standards, a training cycle doesn't feel complete without at least ONE 100, or even 90 mile week. *SIDE NOTE- I know that is completely absurd, so go ahead and tell me that I need a white coat and a padded room. Also, I usually like to throw in at least a 22-24 miler for good measure. Neither of those things happened this time. But... onto the good.
I really feel like I've loosened the reins on myself recently. I've learned the tighter you try to control every little moment of your life, the harder the fall. The harder you try to be perfect, or just appear to be perfect, the more you fail at it. Perfect does not exist. Sure, I feel flawed, but who doesn't? And, who isn't? Isn't the past the thing that molds us into stronger/better/more humble people? It took me a while to come to this, or maybe just to admit it, but I actually feel relieved and less stressed since the Big D (yeah, not so ready that I actually want to type the word out, but... baby steps). Even though I haven't talked to Speedy Anna in awhile, I think about her often and sometimes a few words of wisdom echo in my ears. We were on an early morning 10 miler once, and were discussing goal weights, etc. She said, "You don't need to lose weight; you need to lose toxic energy." She likely doesn't even remember that, but it's something I've held on to for well over a year. And... I think it's finally taken hold.
So, onto Seattle- toxins no more! I wouldn't say that I feel all giddy and ready to jump on board to throw down 6:52s for 26.2, but I do feel relaxed. I'm hoping that goes a long way. I've had so many "life experiences" over the past year that I really don't even feel like the same person, and that may not necessarily be a bad thing. So, maybe that's why I feel like a newbie?
My taper is going smoothly. I've had no aches or pains, and I've been stretching and *trying* to sleep more. I'm also going to give the Aussie Carbo Load another chance. Here's the plan-
I've chosen to do a depletion for 3 days, which I started Monday. Through my reading, this part revealed conflicting opinions. The depletion route has a longer history, which is why I chose it. That *might* be silly, but had to decide some way! Thursday I will eat normally, and Friday will be a total carb load, like I did for San Antonio, but this time I WILL meet my carb goal. I've done the math, too, and plan to stick to it as closely as possible. The fact that I ran only 2 minutes off PR in San Antonio when it was BLAZING hot and I caught a cramp says *something* for the Aussie Plan. Also, Friday morning will include a short, but sweet easy run/speed burst. Looking back, I did this-
1.3 miles warm up, 0.6 @ 5:40 pace, 30 seconds all out, 1.3 miles cool down.
Can I also say that I am totally geeked out about the weather? It is going to be in the 50s for the start!!!!! I haven't run in that weather since February! I'm really excited to feel what that's like again.
Mostly, I am really, really excited to experience Seattle.
And... neither of my parents will be tracking my progress. The reason is that my dad is coming home Saturday morning!!!!!! I don't think this is luck. Over the past year I've lost so much of my own faith. Through that, it had become very difficult for me to pray genuine prayers. (Okay, that sounded pretty stupid, but maybe some Christian will understand that somewhere.) That's where my friends and family come in- prayers were answered! He is leaving the rehab center almost 4 weeks ahead of schedule. While his journey is nowhere near over, I can really look at the past 5 weeks and see how far he's come! (Kind of like the Rob Thomas song.) And, just when I thought God wasn't listening to me, I sort of learned that maybe unanswered prayers will be blessings down the road. Ahhhh... it feels so good to believe that!
So, run strong, everyone! ;)