Let's hope life is like a boomerang. I've always heard the ol' saying, "If you truly love something/someone, love it/them enough to let go when it's time." Hhhmmm, is that true in ALL situations? I have really tried to think hard about that recently. In the area of running, I am injured. Yep, full-blown, not-running, injured. It started w/ the hip/groin thingie that wouldn't go away. Now I am more worried about this puffy/ouchie place on my ankle of the opposite leg. This is likely caused by altered gait of the groin pain side. Yes, I've been injured before, and it stinks. I'm attempting to let go of all plans and aspirations I have for my running future. Not that they are totally worthless, but nothing good can come of focusing on those right now. Speedy Anna has taught me so much, but one of the most important things she's talked to me about recently is "freeing my mind." Basically stop trying to control things you can't. I can only help my situation by resting right now, and waiting for what the dr. has to say. Can I share some personal stuff now? I assume you are all runners, so you MIGHT understand this twisted way of thinking.
In my regular, everyday life, I feel like running is the only thing that sets me apart from the Average Joe. And I don't like average. Not that I am anything super-spectacular at running, but it was my 'thing' that no one else in this town has. So, when that goes awry, I go awry. Also, in the past year or so, I've gripped on to running so I didn't have to face my real-life problems. Silly, I know. Now that running is not there, well... I feel... hollow.
I'm trying to get okay with whatever news I get from the ortho Thursday. I'm actually thinking the worst b/c I really can't bear anymore disappointments. If I know it's bad, and the news isn't SO bad, then that will be better. Right? (Um, was that sentence comprehensible?) As not to be total Debbie Downer, I will say that my logical side tells me these things:
I have been injured before, and have taken as much as 9 weeks off running. I have bounced back from it, and gone on to EVENTUALLY PR again.
I need this time to focus on my track team. Our first meet is fast approaching!
Most importantly, I have to believe that God has a plan for me. I'm assuming that plan doesn't include me being a total Life Fail forever. Just like runners should trust their training plan, I should trust God's plan. I will admit, that I am so doubtful of God's plan right now. I have gone through more crap in the past year than I would wish on an ax murder. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and wonder, what did I do wrong? Of course, none of us really deserve chocolate and PRs all the time. Those are God's BLESSINGS. They are gifts. Society often teaches us that we automatically deserve those things, and many Christians believe we can EARN those things. I'm hoping that there's a balance between those two thoughts and sometimes you just have to go through crap, not a punishment, not a reward, just life.
So for now, I'll just focus on OTHER things that make me happy. So, how do you work this eliptical thingie?