June 26, 2009

Ants In My Pants

First, let's talk about the Bear Beach Extreme Adventure Race. I have a few cycling friends in town, and a few months ago they asked me if I would be interested in this race. See details here! Bear Challenge Adventure Race I looked at the website, got peer pressured a little more, and finally said yes. So, about twice a month, Will, Scott, David, and I will get together for practice.

The first few weeks we would mountain bike ride and run, all on trails. I'm not a real get-dirty-in-the-woods type gal, but whatever. I can keep up on the bike going up hill, but down is a different story. I am SO chicken! I have a death grip on the handlebars the entire time. The guys make no bones about leaving me in the dust, either. Sure enough, I'll huff and puff my way back up the hill to catch them. When it comes time for the run, though, payback is heck. Sometimes, just to be mean, I'll run backwards. This all occurs AFTER they've made fun of my running skirt, teased me about being a chicken, and called me a sissy for not wanting to get completely muddy.

Alright, on to today's practice session. We rode for about 45 minutes, and parked our bikes in the woods off trail. We all decided to take our fuelbelts off and leave them with the bikes. So, we go on our run. My headband might have sparked some competition today b/c it said, "Some girls chase boys. I beat them." Ha! We ran 30 minutes out, then started on the return trip. Will was feeling pretty good, aparently, b/c when we got on the final stretch, he picked it up quite a bit. Oh, no you don't, buddy. I picked it up, too. He ran faster, I ran faster. I could tell his breathing was pretty labored, and I didn't think he could hold out, sooo.... I decided to give him a piece of his own bike-riding medicine. I let it loose. When I say let it loose, I was out. of. there. He was dust. I returned to my bike and yelled back, "You okay?" I know, I'm cruel. I picked up my fuel belt, put it on, and brought my bike out to the trail. Will recovered and came to join me. We waited for the last member and I started to feel something quite odd. Yep, ants in my pants.

Who lays their fuel belt in an antbed? Me, apparently. I threw down the bike, my water bottle, and sprinted into the wood. Pulled down my pants as fast as I could and ANTS were EVERYWHERE! They were biting my butt at a rapid pace, too. I used my hands to smear all the ants off me, smashing them into bits. Not funny. At all. So, that fiasco was over. When I came out of the woods, Scott said, "There were a few ants on my camelpack." Ughhh, shut up. I got zero sympathy from the guys, but I did from Cindy (Scott's wife) when she met us at the pond w/ the canoes. She offered me a first-aid kit and didn't even laugh at my 'injuries.' See? That's what nice women with manners do. Learn from that, men.

Edited to add: I'm going to start adding quotes at the bottom of my posts. These are words of wisdom that I take to heart, or at least made me laugh. Here's today's.

And they could not be stopped, for behind every limiting belief about women was a suffragette with the outrageous notion that they could do what the men were doing. ~Lorraine Moller


  1. Fire Ants?

    I keep a first aid kit in both vehicles.

  2. that's an awesome story! seriously, glad you didn't go into shock from all those bites.

  3. Preston & Jan, they were regular little black ants. I didn't REALLY need first aide. Cindy was being nice. Of course, my backside looks like I've had the chicken pox. LOL.

  4. Ahhhh... the fiesty ants of southern alabama!! I dont miss that at all!! That is the only time you can get a free strip show!!! LOL. Just remember picking Okra and accidentally kicked a ant hill... itchy from okra, pain from ants... not a good combination. Well... at least you will be able to laugh about it in a couple days... now get back to running!!!!

  5. Never had that happen with a fuel belt, but plenty of times standing along the side of the road. Its amazing how a few fire ants in the pants can make you not care about being in your underwear on a busy road.

  6. Anonymous6/29/2009

    ouch for the ants. i'm guessing that by now (mon) it's a pretty funny story :)

  7. Ants = suck. That race looks like fun though!! OH, as for hills, I crush all my friends going up and the downhill gravity kicks my arse even if I wasn't braking :-)

  8. Anonymous6/30/2009

    Hey LAR,

    That Bear Challenge sounds like a lot of fun, I admit at first when I saw 'Bear' my initial thought was something else...LOL

    Also, I couldn't help laughing about your ants in pants, I know it was probably unpleasant but the way you described it cracked me up! I've been bitten by fire ants before on feet and they swelled up like a balloon, luckily it was just black ants....

    Talk to you soon!

  9. Anonymous7/01/2009

    Good Lord- you could write a book about all the misadventures you've had running! Remember in college when you would come back bloody from a scraped knee or a limb that got the best of you?
    At least you beat the boys!

  10. I thought about you this week when my family and I hiked in Yosemite. As my 10 year old son went to find a spot in the woods to pee I yelled, "Watch for ants!!!" He ran back out and said, "I can hold it." LOL.

    I hope all is well. Yes, I'm blogging again. I just couldn't stay away. *rolls eyes*