J/K, I don't intend to go down that road with every post. HA! No worries, I'm not going to turn this blog into a play-by-play of pregnancy. However, since it's the #1 thing on my mind right now, I'll include a bit in this post.
So, I'm 9 weeks today. I've been feeling MEH. I have gained a little weight in the waist area, but still feeling okay in my regular school pants and jeans. I ran RnR NOLA Half last weekend. In my head (and because my coach told me I could), I thought I was able to "race" it. It seemed like I could squeeze out one more race before putting the "fast shoes" in the closet for a year. However, we had super humid conditions, and I decided at Mile 6 to just dial it in for a an easy run.
I know it's safe for me to do workouts at this point, but honestly, I'm just scared. I don't WANT to be risky or to feel bad or get too out of breath. I just don't. That may seem wimpy or like a cop-out, but I think I'm becoming okay with not being fast again for a very, very long time. I've been running nearly every day. I've come down with strep now; so I haven't run the past two days, but before that I've felt fine. Most of my runs have been right around an hour, give or take a little bit.
I had my first (and only so far) hormonal freak out Monday. You name it, I cried about it- never being able to be fast again, money, money, and more money.*Truth is, money is a legit fear, not just a hormone fear. I cried about the fear of losing my coaching job at the high school, not finding a good sub for my class, and as coach said, "kissing that cute little body good-bye." The feeling of wanting a baby so bad, but not wanting to wait for it. The feeling of feeling TIRED.ALL.THE.TIME, and just crying to cry. Yeah, it was pretty bad. It ended with Keith rubbing my hair until I fell asleep.
And why my husband already deserves an award in his less than 6th month of marriage:
There will be no touching of my boobs ever again because they will explode. In fact, don't even look at them too hard.
I have not cooked him dinner in over a week. (More on food aversions later.)
Bless his heart, he tried to do the grocery shopping and I literally now hate every item he bought to eat (what used to be my favorites a few weeks ago).
I am very fortunate that I haven't been too sick. Lots of nauseous evenings, but only one puke and a near one. I stopped and gagged a few times one morning while running. The real puke was yesterday morning when I dropped my keys outside, leaned up too fast, then puked in the bushes. So klassy. However, I am now the pickiest eater around.
*I used to love peanut butter, now I hate it. HATE PEANUT BUTTER.
*I used to love chocolate. Do not get it near me. Don't even let me smell it. Ew, gross, yuck.
*Brussel sprouts- GAG (used to love them).
*Sugary stuff- ick, blech, grody.
*GIVE ME SALTY SNACKS, especially wasabi and soy almonds.
*And I still love fruit. I've always loved it; now I super love it.
*I sometimes do a small cup of coffee in the morning. Some days I can't stomach that and I do hot tea. Either way, I miss my caffeine buzz.
Dinner has been a random variety of basic items. One recent dinner was a side of quinoa with a kale/banana smoothie. (Ok, I just gagged typing that, but I swear two nights ago it was delicious.)
I'm probably so far over my head, but Keith and I have already been making our baby name list and we are really close to choosing one boy and one girl name! We've also looked at tons of nursery ideas on Pinterest. I'm already obsessed with baby stuff!!!!
In work/school news, we start track Monday. SO much drama has happened with the other coach. I really don't want to go into it right now, but will save it for another post because it's worth visiting. I got two new students in my class, one is OD and attacked his last teacher. Great, right? Next week, I head to Orlando for a math conference for a few days. I'm looking forward to getting away for a few days with some of my favorite coworkers. (What geek is excited about a math conference?)
And.. Keith is looking for a new job. Earlier this week, we thought he'd hit the jackpot. Budweiser was hiring, and told him to bring an application and resume in. The opening was for his exact job, graphic design! When he drove down to Mobile to give it to them, they said they had just combined two jobs into one and it was no longer open. Booo. Anyway, nothing is really wrong with his job now, except that it doesn't pay what he deserves, and they really screw around with his vacation days (charge him double days if they are on/near a holiday). So for Christmas break, he took off 3 days, but got charged for 6. Ridiculous.
A little secret- after years and years of training hard I realized something. I haven't had a real break in a very, very long time. Like, the last time I took more than one day off running was when I hurt my Achilles in 2009. Wow. That was 15,000 miles ago. I'm ready for my break. Between feeling like crap some days to not having a running "goal" right now, it's secretly nice to not have XYZ workout or mileage over my head. Yes, I'm sure this will fade quite quickly. Haha. I'm looking forward to doing the stationary bike, prenatal pilates, and strength training. I'm looking forward to running for minutes, not speed or distance. I really, really, REALLY want to join the YMCA. It has an indoor and outdoor pool, classes galore, and lots of fitness/workout machines. It would be great in the summer when I'm as big as a barn and it's hot as Hates outside. It's kind of expensive, though, and Keith and I are trying to save money. [See, told you that money fear was legit!] For now, I'm just taking it one day at a time, doing what I feel like and going with the flow.
Run Happy, friends!