And yes, I realize that I have a serious addiction problem. I am addicted to running. Yep, true. Symptoms include:
*Sneaking runs/mileage (Before anyone, *cough cough* coach, goes nuts, I've cheated on very few runs this training cycle. However, I've WANTED to cheat a lot more than that.)
*Lying to friends/family about runs/mileage
*Wanting to bust out running at inappropriate times.
*Physical symptoms of withdrawal when mileage is reduced
And you know what's worse than just tapering? Tapering AND PMS. Yes, people, my husband is probably in spousal hell. Insane reasons I've nearly lost my mind during this taper:
*My special ed children are not understanding adding mixed numbers. Summary of this story, is me holding up two fingers and SHOUTING, "What is ONE PLUS ONE???" Not one of my finer teaching moments.
*I was in a small group meeting and said something REALLY ugly about my boss. See, our boss is not well liked, but I try very, very, very hard to never say mean things about people in groups. Well, something VERY bad slipped. Like, I said she had a camel toe. I know, I'm going straight to hell. What added to the horridness of it is that my coworkers had a look of utter shock on their faces, which I followed up with a cackling hyena laugh. Thank goodness they all busted out laughing after that, and one girl told me that that was the only mean thing she'd heard me say in the 3 years I've been working there. Oops.
*I looked at the weather forecast today and got that "I'm gonna cry" lump in my throat. Yes, weather. forecast.
*Last night I had a
It really does help that my bestie is a sports psychologist. However, I'm pretty sure I'm a lost cause. See, I'm actually a fairly smart person. I know exactly why the taper is necessary. I know all the science behind it, what happens to your muscles and your body, etc. And I know the proper taper percentages, how to arrange a pre-race training week, and all that good stuff. How can something so RIGHT feel so WRONG????????
And this afternoon, because I wanted to really seal the deal on Crazy 101, I pulled out the old training log. I don't revisit it often. It's an old Running Ahead account that I don't use anymore. As I'm logging in, a ray of light literally streams from my computer screen, like a mecca of greatness. Sometimes to torture myself, I look at my training and racing log from when I was fast. All along, I've had in my head that I *need* the mileage to be successful, because that's what I did when I was fast. And this afternoon, I wanted to see what exactly I did the week before my PR marathon race.
Holy shockaroo. I had to refresh the screen to become a believer. Those killer hundred mile weeks I used to do? Um, they weren't before my marathon PR. My world is rocked. I don't know what to make of this!?! Those killer weeks actually came before the Pensacola Marathon Meltdown where I ended up passed out on the side of the road and then hospitalized. The weeks before my marathon PR? Um... a peak at 80 miles after two weeks of total crap running thanks to the pit bull attack.
But, but, but... I'm speechless.