August 7, 2012
Sometimes words just aren't enough.
Sometimes I have so much to say, but can't find the words. The past few weeks have been absolutely amazing, hard, fantastic, overwhelming, and (fill in your favorite adjective here).
Let's see... I FINALLY got all my stuff moved. Anyone that's moved can attest that it is likely hell on earth. Luckily for me, I part with things very easily, and my trash pile grew bigger by the day. Moving was actually put into about 3 days- 2 days of me moving everything I could carry (or thought I could carry) and one final day of boyfriend and close friends helping move my furniture.
Um, so after 2 days my arms were SHOT. I felt like I had done 3 days worth of P90X. I had 3 main disasters of my own:
*Dropped a box of my trophies, breaking 5 of them. :(
*Tried to carry a bench by myself, fell down the stairs while carrying it, smashed my toe and sliced my knee in the process. Nice.
*Dropped a box of glasses, and miraculously only 3 broke!
Moving day wasn't so bad. I bribed my running buddies with doughnuts. We had 3 disasters that day, too, though.
*TP stuffed the glass tops of my coffee table and end tables in the couch cushions for traveling (great idea). He forgot to tell the other guys they were in there and CRASH... there went one piece of glass. It was pretty bad. It cut TP's brother's leg and TP's foot. It was also a complete bear to clean up.
*The washer water faucets were corroded. I had to call a plumber to replace them .:(
*My kitchen table somehow got scratched to crap and back. :(
Nonetheless, I am IN the new house! It feels so great. Sometimes I just stand in the middle of the family room on the cool wood floor and look around. It's pretty bare, but it's mine. This sounds ridiculous, but in so many ways it marks survival for me.
It's true that when you get married, you relinquish part of your independence. I think it's great actually, two people becoming one. In my case, though, the rug was ripped from beneath me before I could even realize what was happening. Even to remember those painful months brings tears to my eyes. I remember being so heart broken, so lost, so scared. Many people asked me why I stayed as long as I did. I would love to say that I had forgiven my ex's infidelities. I would love to say that we were working through it. I DID say all of those things, but in the back of my mind, I was afraid to leave. I had been partners with that person for nearly a decade. We had built our lives together. I remember the exact day I decided to leave. I had recently learned about the THIRD woman my ex was fooling with, and I was having my usual counseling session with my bestie on the phone. She finally said, "I swear, on your damn tombstone will be the quote It's Not THAT Bad. Do you want to keep living like this?" At the time, I didn't answer, but in my mind I decided to call it quits. 3 years later, I have a new job, new house, new team, new EVERYTHING. I very much love life again.
The past year, I've had more joys and blessings than any year of my life. I've seen the dolphins play more times than I can count. I've watched kids that I coach run PRs. I've gotten more sweaty hugs from youth runners than any other year. I've met GOOD, genuine coaches, people that see me as a coach, and not just a football wife. I've met a whole new faculty of teachers that embraced me and treated me as their own from Day 1. I've watched the sun rise over the bay, taken "ice baths" in that bay, kayaked in the gulf, and the list goes on and on. It's been good.
The first day of Junior Olympics marked my one year anniversary living on the Gulf Coast. While to many coaches, it's no big deal, it was to me. I had never experienced anything like this, especially not as a coach. While I don't coach any known superstars, I coach some fantastic kids. Their drive and determination is more than anything I could ever ask of a kid. They were SO nervous beforehand, and it was so hot. They never once complained. Not one word. Then they ran their hearts out. We had one PR, and the rest were pretty close. No one in the top of their heat or division, but victories so much bigger than a win or loss. I had achieved one of my main goals as a coach- leading them to finding passion in running. For many of the kids, they had gone from running their very first race in June to running at the Junior Olympics in August. Truly amazing, if you ask me.
We will finish our WINGS season tomorrow night at a mini-meet just for us. I'll be sad to not coach them anymore. They have kept me young, reminded me of the passion we should feel for our sport. While that is ending, I've now ramped it up with the high school team. We added an additional practice day and stepped into speedwork finally. Once again, I am amazed at their positive attitude and their willingness to be coached.
I am truly blessed.