April 15, 2012

Testing the Limits

This was OFF THE CHAIN! Let me rewind to last Saturday when I did this cute little fundraiser race called Run for Water. It was a 2 mile race put on by a high school student from a nearby high school to raise money for her mission trip to Africa. It was a double loop of the "duck pond", part of our usual Sunday morning run. Speedy Courtney was running it, too. I was glad to have her there as a carrot. I've been wanting to break 12 minutes in the 2 mile since this past summer. I wasn't quite sure if I had the leg speed for it, though. I started off a bit slower and hit Mile 1 in 6:03 and by staying steady distance back from Courtney, was able to bust out a 5:53 for Mile 2, final time- 11:57! Woot woot! Looks like some of the speed work is paying off. Um, don't get too excited... this week was a major fail.

So, I had a track meet Tuesday, obviously putting me home pretty late at night. Wednesday I found out that I got hired for a ROCKING summer job. I will save that stuff for another post, though. Anyway, determined to get in my workout, I hit the treadmill for an unusually hard tempo run. Bleh, felt like death. And... Thursday. Hmmmm. We had State testing this past week, and one of very own teachers got caught giving the students the answers. Big huge UGH. I could also write a separate blog post about this, but I'm feeling kind of angry/emotional/raw right now over all the school drama and stress; so I better leave it alone. Needless to say, Thursday afternoon and Friday were complete chaos. The 'people in charge' from the school board office swarmed our school, and our every last detail regarding testing was analyzed. I was such a nervous wreck that I could hardly read the directions. The kids were confused and nervous, along with the usual stress of State testing. Next week will bring on more stress, as I'm sure the media will find out soon, along with some other not-so-pretty details about this bad apple teacher among our bunch. Just another example of one STUPID teacher outshining the teachers that work themselves to the bone for the good of the children. Makes me sick, really.

So... we had an 8K Saturday morning. I felt like death. I had actually had a breakdown Friday night and cried for about 2 hours for no real reason other than stress and anxiety. Stupid, huh? I ran the craptastic race in 32:28, 6:33 pace. Afterwards, I went to my car and cried for another 30 minutes. Yeah, real stable, huh? Why am I so upset? I think the bottom line is that I considered this teacher my friend, and I feel like she cheated not only the test, but ALL of us. She ruined things for our whole school. I think I'm also very frightened by my own perfectionism. I've always had super good test scores, and I'm so worried about how my kids did. Not only b/c this class is a bit lower, but I think Friday (last day of testing) may have been a complete wash. None of us could even think straight!

Sunday morning, I was really looking forward to a long run. All my training peeps are in Boston; so I hit the road alone. I decided to try to run to school on back roads. Once I got there, I wanted to make it to the next town over. I just wanted to run and run and run, leaving all my stress and anxiety behind. Well- it worked! It took 24ish miles, but hey, whatever!
Next weekend I'm doing a 10 mile trail run, first in a series of three. Woot woot! I'm looking forward to stepping off the roads for a bit.

9 comments:

  1. That really sucks about the testing! After all of the hard work and stress that is put on you guys on a year round basis about this whole weeke of testing, and she decides to give them the answers! Not only does it mean that it's going to be stressful in the coming weeks, but it will be the same next year. Hang in there! You're a wonderful teacher! I'm sure your kids did fine despite all that was going on.

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  2. Wow. I have no words for the school situation. At least you can rest with your own integrity. That and a 24-mile run to exorcise the demons.

    I hate to say it, but running is cheaper than therapy!

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  3. Oh man! That sucks about the teacher. I would be very angry too. :(

    I agree with Adrienne, running is cheaper than therapy. That is why I run!

    A 24 mile run? Of course YOU are the only one that does it.

    I've said it before and I will say it again but YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!!

    Run Happpy.

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  4. First off, that is some killer speed on your 2-mile race. What a fun distance to really crank it! Secondly, that really sucks about the teacher. Can they fire this person?

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  5. Oh yes, Elizabeth. She was fired pretty much at the moment of discovery. She will officially be let go when the school board meets next. She will also likely lose her teaching certificate. It's a seriously big deal, and she will have to go before the State Dept of Education ethics committee. They will then make a decision.

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  6. Congrats on your 2 mile race! That is fantastic!
    Sorry that the 8k didn't go at great pace for you, but I am in awe that you ran 24 so soon afterwards! I have always wanted to run to the next town. And, ha, your 8k is still amazingly fast!

    The ethics issue at school is sad. I hate the pressure that state testing causes, but also see it as a useful tool...if they keep it the same year to year. Sorry about the stress over it. :(

    Best wishes with the trail series!

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  7. Oh, man, it's hard to race when your brain is happy, let alone when you have emotional stress on top of it.

    And wow, I echo everyone else about your 2-miler - speedy!

    I love trail running although I'm not a very good trail racer. Have fun with your series!

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  8. Great job on your 2miler and 24 miler! You must have been very upset. My angry-runs usually only last about 10mi ;)

    I'm so sorry to hear about the teacher situation. That is awful! (((hugs)))

    Have fun at the trail races!

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  9. Wow, that is so creepy about the teacher. I really don't get what twists people's morals like that. Plus, it makes you wonder about the relationship they had, crazy stuff! Hope it dies down over there, you have enough on your plate.

    Woohoo on the zoomy running! Sounds like the cry time was a needed release and I'm sorry you had it but sometimes a solid cry is like medicine. Hugs. xo

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