Items of stress/concern over the past week:
1. My running has been sucking. (See last post.)
2. I'm on Day #15 of "girl time."
3. I thought my cat, Ivey, had a UTI, but after taking her to the vet, thought she had kidney failure. I went through a day of sheer hell (more like 4 hours), until they called to tell me that her tests were clear and she DID have a UTI.
4. Monday they took one of our assistant coaches away, and moved him to baseball. So we were down to 3. Then Friday they FIRED the head coach. In public school, teachers only get fired on the stop for 2 things- stealing money and messing around with students. He was not only fired, but asked to leave the campus immediately. So, I'm assuming it was one of those two reasons. Now the remaining assistant coach and I will be doing the job of 4 people, sharing the responsibility of head coach. Coaching with only 2 was hard enough at Mayberry, but this new school is at least twice the size!
All these things left me feeling even more exhausted and overwhelmed than I was last week.
I did NOT want to race yesterday, but TP was practically begging me to go with him. And you know me, if I'm going to go, might as well run... It was not a good sign that i could hardly stay awake on the car ride over.
Then I started out too fast- Mile 1, 6:00. Surprisingly, it felt pretty good, and I hit Mile 2 @ 6:06 pace. Then Mile 3 I felt the wheels coming off. I looked at my Garmin at it was close to 7 minute pace! I completely and utterly LOST it. I just wanted to cry, and I stopped and walked. Yeah, I walked in a 5K. TP caught up with me, and then he got worried. he did one of those slow downs where you try to talk to someone behind you.
Him: What's wrong?
Me: I just can't do this anymore.
Him: The Garmins are not getting signal. You were on your way to a PR. GO!
I started thinking and then cursing, then running again, working it down to 6:20 pace for Mile 3.
Final Time: 18:51, but my Garmin measured only 3.07
I chatted with the first place gal afterwards, and she swore that the course was accurate. (She was from there.) I still have my doubts. TP talked to me for awhile afterwards, and I think he is worried about me. In our talk he was telling me that I had to quit worrying about things I have control over. In his words, "It's ok if you don't have all the answers; no one does." He's so great like that.
After reflection, I realize that he's right. Nothing in my life is *really* worth stressing over- even my biggest problems now pale in comparison to what I've been through in the past. There's no reason why i shouldn't relax and just go with the flow. I'm doing the best I can, and if that isn't good enough... well, too bad.
I'm starting to get excited about The Woodlands Marathon. While I don't think I can PR this time, I do think I can put down a decent time. More than that, I think the race is going to be great. I can tell the organizers and people involved have put a lot of time and energy into making it a neat event, and I'm glad to be a part of it. Plus, I'm ready for some Adrienne time! Even if I totally blow up, I know that I get to visit with my friend, and that's comforting to me.
My plan for Woodlands is a bit different from my Houston plan. Before Houston, I decided to go for it, whatever it takes, even risk blowing up. This time, I have a very strict backup plan in place to prevent blow up. I know my body isn't 100% right now, and I want to be smart enough to still have a good clock time. My plan is go out at 6:49ish and assess at the half. If all is good, then I will reassess at 17. If needed at any time, I will dial it back to 7:05-7:15 for the remainder of the race. I think this will still score me a decent overall place and clock time, plus it will be something that I can live with, pride wise.
Run Happy, Friends!