July 15, 2011

Leap of Faith

Last summer I was in Walmart when a few isles over I heard "her" voice. By her, I am meaning The Other Woman. Even though K and I were divorced, and the infidelity was a year in the past, my heart was about to beat out of my chest, and started dripping sweat like a tempo workout. I crouched down in the cat litter isle, and waited until I heard she and her cart move on. And that is how I've lived the past two years, hiding in kitty litter from my past.

I had planned to look for new jobs last year, but due to my dad's accident, I just didn't have the time or energy to go through it all. I guess God really does have a plan because it was then that I met TP and ended up having a great year with my track team. I was also able to recover from a lot of bitter and angry feelings this school year. And after all the bitterness and anger faded, I still felt like this wasn't the place for me. So, I began to search. Actually, I only applied to ONE other school system. The school system is quite big, though, with probably 15 elementary schools. I sent letters to the 6 that had openings and waited for the best. Time passed and I didn't even get a phone call. And then it all happened at once. I got a call for an interview, interviewed the next day, and got offered the job while driving home.

So, I said yes. In my regular style, I've had like 3 meltdowns so far just over the whole "newness" and doubting my decision making skills. In my heart, I feel this is the best decision for me. It's in "real" place with shopping malls, restaurants, and running paths. Remember the Ragnar Relay? Well, that whole team "Spiridon" lives down there. So, hello new running club!!!!! Um, the best part- 15, yes 15 minutes from the actual BEACH. I will be teaching 5th grade at a school that is about the same size as my current school.

I'm excited to move on. I will leave the history of the dramatic divorce, leave the history of a football coach's wife, and most importantly, the anger and bitterness. I will make new friends, as well as strengthen the friendships of Team Spiridon. They already asked me to join permanently!

There are a few drawbacks. I won't be teaching next to Mandy. I could only find an apartment to rent. Granted, it is super nice and big, but still I'm used to living in a 3 bedroom house with its own yard. (And there's a 6 mile bike/running path directly across the street.) The house here is still for sale, but when that sells I can open my options some. Then there's the track team. Many have questioned how I can leave them without receiving the fruits from my labor (home track meet). You see, though, that was never the point. ME receiving the credit was never part of the plan. My plan was to get the track fixed. And now, I've done my part- raised $10,000 and am just waiting for someone to get off their mossy rump and hire a contractor. I will miss coaching, GOSH will I miss the coaching. My new principal has already talked to me about starting a running club or the kids. That's something I'd really like to do, and I also plan to make contacts with the local high schools to try to get involved with one of the teams.

That's where faith comes in. I'm embarrassed to tell you how long it's been since I went to church. I'm hoping to find a new church when I move, one free from painful memories. Right now I just have to trust that I made the right decision. We all know there are no guarantees. I do feel like I'm ready to make this step towards a better life for MYSELF.

Bye-bye, Mayberry.

8 comments:

  1. I wish you the best, Rebecca. While you may have been having a nervous breakdown inside, you always maintained your composure and pressed on. We'll miss you and all that you have done for this little town while you've been here.Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is a huge step in the right direction and you are very brave for going after it. I know you'll do great at the new school and your new area sounds wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I couldn't be happier for you. I can't think of one tiny iota of an amoeba's worth of thought that might make this move anything but a perfect decision. You made your mark in Mayberry, leave that ugly past where it belongs...far behind you.

    So excited for you and can't wait to hear all the new adventures you get up to this year. Life is for living, growth and opportunity and now it's time for Rebecca 2.0 to shine. Muah!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Praying for you as you make so many new and positive changes. If you're not a little apprehensive about it, then it's not worth it in the first place!

    Looking forward to hearing more about your new adventures-here's to running with teammates! :)

    One more thing...be sure to turn the corner and then break into a smile!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow! I just found your blog a few weeks ago so I don't know everything you've been through, but moving forward seems like a great restart. Maybe you could start a Girls on the Run chapter at your school? It's a great organization. Good luck in all your new endeavors. AmyD

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is a huge and wonderful change! I am so happy for you! Good luck in the new school, the new town...it sounds just perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So happy for you!! I am back from my 3 week vacation and catching up. You are an awesome person and the school district is lucky to have you.

    Good luck but I know you will do GREAT!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. WOOHOOO! CAn't wait to hear about all you new adventures.

    ReplyDelete