Last summer I was in Walmart when a few isles over I heard "her" voice. By her, I am meaning The Other Woman. Even though K and I were divorced, and the infidelity was a year in the past, my heart was about to beat out of my chest, and started dripping sweat like a tempo workout. I crouched down in the cat litter isle, and waited until I heard she and her cart move on. And that is how I've lived the past two years, hiding in kitty litter from my past.
I had planned to look for new jobs last year, but due to my dad's accident, I just didn't have the time or energy to go through it all. I guess God really does have a plan because it was then that I met TP and ended up having a great year with my track team. I was also able to recover from a lot of bitter and angry feelings this school year. And after all the bitterness and anger faded, I still felt like this wasn't the place for me. So, I began to search. Actually, I only applied to ONE other school system. The school system is quite big, though, with probably 15 elementary schools. I sent letters to the 6 that had openings and waited for the best. Time passed and I didn't even get a phone call. And then it all happened at once. I got a call for an interview, interviewed the next day, and got offered the job while driving home.
So, I said yes. In my regular style, I've had like 3 meltdowns so far just over the whole "newness" and doubting my decision making skills. In my heart, I feel this is the best decision for me. It's in "real" place with shopping malls, restaurants, and running paths. Remember the Ragnar Relay? Well, that whole team "Spiridon" lives down there. So, hello new running club!!!!! Um, the best part- 15, yes 15 minutes from the actual BEACH. I will be teaching 5th grade at a school that is about the same size as my current school.
I'm excited to move on. I will leave the history of the dramatic divorce, leave the history of a football coach's wife, and most importantly, the anger and bitterness. I will make new friends, as well as strengthen the friendships of Team Spiridon. They already asked me to join permanently!
There are a few drawbacks. I won't be teaching next to Mandy. I could only find an apartment to rent. Granted, it is super nice and big, but still I'm used to living in a 3 bedroom house with its own yard. (And there's a 6 mile bike/running path directly across the street.) The house here is still for sale, but when that sells I can open my options some. Then there's the track team. Many have questioned how I can leave them without receiving the fruits from my labor (home track meet). You see, though, that was never the point. ME receiving the credit was never part of the plan. My plan was to get the track fixed. And now, I've done my part- raised $10,000 and am just waiting for someone to get off their mossy rump and hire a contractor. I will miss coaching, GOSH will I miss the coaching. My new principal has already talked to me about starting a running club or the kids. That's something I'd really like to do, and I also plan to make contacts with the local high schools to try to get involved with one of the teams.
That's where faith comes in. I'm embarrassed to tell you how long it's been since I went to church. I'm hoping to find a new church when I move, one free from painful memories. Right now I just have to trust that I made the right decision. We all know there are no guarantees. I do feel like I'm ready to make this step towards a better life for MYSELF.