December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Here's something cute from my friend, Mandy!

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving cookies.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! Hot chocolate may be substituted for you non-eggnoggers out there.

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a four door sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. This works for fudge too...

8. Same for pies. Apple , Pumpkin , Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or if you're able to get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Take a quick moment between gifts to count your blessings. For me, I am blessed to have fabulous friends and family. I am blessed with a good, stable job, and good health. Merry Christmas, everyone!

8 comments:

  1. Too funny!

    Another blessing: You are an AMAZING runner who inspires so many.

    Merry Christmas!
    CJ

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  2. omg i am laughing SO HARD right now! thanks for posting this :)

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  3. this literally made me laugh out loud...and then read it out loud to my kid brother. I love it! thanks for the reminder. you are awesome!

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  4. I love this...as I sit here barely able to move and breath and thanking the Lord for pants with a waistband ...yeah it's ridiculous. I feel guilty...but it's not over yet...oye...Merry Christmas to you giril ;)

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  5. Tee hee. What good is running and training hard if we can't play fast and loose with the food and drink occasionally?

    Merry Christmas to you-and wishing you happiness in 2010.

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  6. I loved this and have followed every rule except #6. Merry Christmas, Rebecca! I hope it was a great one.

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  7. Yep, following all of these except #6.
    With no school, I've been sleeping in, and then running at 11:00 AM, or so.
    Happy New Year, Rebecca.

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